my heart speaks

A provoking entry from a fellow sister struck me to voice my opinions about things. Sometimes reads like hers make me think and make me evaluate my own life...which is good! So thank you sister, first and foremost. U sure enlightened me... :)

::about mothers::

No matter how much ur mother hurts u, u should never despise her because heaven lies under her feet. For every tear u make her shed, it's like a bullet thru YOUR heart. Even Rasulullah s.a.w quoted "Ibumu, ibumu! Ibumu, ibumu...barulah bapamu..."

I envy those who are close to their mums. Those who can talk juz abt anything under the sun with their mums. Just like rory and lorelai, them Gilmore girls. Just like farena and her mother. But there are all kinds of mothers and they do things for a reason. I always thought my mother favoured PI more den me, but I appreciate her sacrifice and the extent of making my trip to germany possible. My mother always says how much PI looks like her and make me feel oh so unwanted but i know she's proud of me, yes she is!

So why be mad at mothers when they haf done so much for u. don't count the no of dishes u wash for them, don count the number of dust u swept off the floor for them, but THINK of the shits they remove from u wen u were a baby, THINK of the dirts she cleansed from u wen u were young. THINK of the food she fed you. THINK of the no of hours, minutes and seconds she took to treat you when u were sick. And the question is, will you be able to do the same when she's old and haggard??? or are u waiting for her days to be over...

Sometimes I am mad at myself for getting mad at my mom. When she scolds me for coming home late, when she nags at the state of my bedroom. U know, when u come to think of it, it is for ur own good afterall! It serves as a reminder that hey! It is not right for a girl to be out so late and for god's sake u're a girl, keep ur room clean la!!! How can I stay mad when she cooks the meals I eat everyday. How can I despise her for the amount of cash and sweat she shed juz to NOT disappoint me. How can I hor??

I wanted so much to continue art after my A levels, and I was even accepted at UWA for landscape archi...and when I told my mom abt it, she wasn't happy. And so I reflected on the expenses per yr for me to stay 3 yrs in Australia. A bomb! And where will my sister get her money to continue her studies then? And not to mention, architecture is such a demanding subject...where will I get my flow of cash for the equipment. So, I settled for the fact that yeah! I haf tried art in my life, and I'm not regretting engineering as my field now.

Don't you think there're juz too much a mom has done for u to get mad at them? And to call her names, you are juz TOO MUCH!

::the tudung issue::

Some of us feel oppressed with the tudung issue, at how ppl judge us of the sincerity when wearing the tudung. here in germany, ppl wear tudung with PRIDE cann?? because they uphold the name of Islam, they put on the hejabs whole-heartedly, without a doubt. U may tell me how do i know exactly how they feel and it may sound like a sweeping statement. but hey! the arabs, the turks and e german muslimahs are the most beautiful women i haf ever met eye to eye (even Jack said so!) and why did they choose to cover up in this western country when they can easily let their hair down and don mini skirts? why? because they KNOW their obligations and tak kira la kau cantik ke tak, kaya ke miskin, yang namanya Islam, tutup aurat... and this is a lesson i wish to keep in mind, in heart and take home with me.

I din start off wearing the tudung on my own. I was forced, to be exact. And my mother did the right thing by telling me to cover up. It is her responsibility and if I choose to disobey, I haf first, gone against Allah, and two, against my mom and my dad...afterall, all sins committed by daughters ditanggung by the fathers until they're married off. so when u go to hell, u bring ur dad down also...

As much as humans aren't perfect beings, they never get enuff of everything. Truth to be told, I was rather disturbed when i read that those who wear close to nothing are the sincere ppl and that these ppl are the ones who will slowly repent and start piecing up their clothing and cover from top to toe. Is it reali? What if they die the next day. How sad...

Don't blame ignorance when u're questioned during Al-Hisab. You KNOW ur obligations. Hence, u ARE in the wrong. Well so they say eventually all muslims go to heaven. And u take ur time to repent. U take ur time to indulge in worldly matters. But to die a muslim, only god determines.

sheesh, i gotta stop blabbering already. but tudung wearers, who's with me??? i'm sure i do NOT stand alone.

Unfortunately still, this is a controversial issue. everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I stand by my own. throughout my entry, i didnt mean to invoke any feelings watsoever to anyone yang mungkin terasa...but truly, it's juz my heart speaking. the good comes from god, and the bad, from me. i am only human

and thank YOU again, sister for sharing ur sentiments...