ppppphhhhhhuuuuueeeeeehhhhhh

it's been one eventful month for me when things juz go wrong at home, in skul and social life. at home, r'ship with the mother is not at all good. mayb she's experiencing menopause...*sighs*

in skul, it's juz plain lagging...frens are juz scarce suddenli...

socially, i've lost all trust in men...but i still try to believe there're still a few good men out there...

last sunday, my aunt's condition deteriorated. the tumor in her stomach had sumhow burst and she looked like she was 8month's pregnant. i sat by her side dat nite, trying to sooth the pain by rubbing her hard tummy, but it wasn't of much help...den my cousin wanted to give her some painkiller so she could sleep, so i tried helping her up. every move seemed like hell. every tear in my eyes waiting to gush out. only one sip and she moaned in pain. i juz couldn't bear see her suffer. she kept on moaning yet she did not stop calling out to the Almighty...of His greatness, and of His power.

her last words to me were..."besokkan skola,balik la"

i prayed to Him, i prayed He end her suffering soon

and He answered my prayer





she passed away last tuesday



only her memories remained now,
a woman of strength,
hard of hearing
yet never stop doing the zikir
a woman of love
hugs and kisses
of which she never was ashamed to give

i will miss
her satay goreng
her occassional visits
her soft speaking
her tiny chuckles....


i will miss her....


so i pray to god
place her together with those in Iman and taqwa
she deserves the heavens above.
rest in peace. i will pray for you.