only hope

time to migrate

2007-06-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

here

see you!

Hadrah Mautttt

2007-06-17T20:26:00.000+08:00

I'm not really feeling good to type out my whole 12 days in Jakarta plus Bandung and a bit of Puncak...but the gist is, it was TIRING! with the heat, and the dust and the waterrrrrr....it was tiring...

Still, the company was good. We stayed with an Arab family, my mom's best friend that is. super traditional Arab! whereby once you finish eating what's in your hand, she hands you another plate and you MUST finish your food or else she gets upset. hence, that was TIRING!

5 daughters, all unique in their appearances became my new younger sisters. i'm the eldest la!!!! but her first daughter's married and expecting. While we were there too, the second daughter was being betrothed to another ARAB family at the age of 19. wwwwwhhhhhhhaaaaaattttttt!!! and the whole risik-risik was in ARABIC! wa takleh angz la wehh!

in short, i learnt not the arabic language but the betawi, cuz the ARAB family i stayed with, although surrounded by many other ARAB families in the village, speak pure indo. :) so weird but true.

i very lazy to story more, so later when i' done with the pics, just hop over to my multiply la ehh.

before i forget, my heartiest congrats to miza for her successful ijab kabul and a lovely sanding nontheless.

craving for home

2007-06-13T21:16:00.000+08:00

look at you in that $99 ZARA dress,
and your bling bling levi's jeans
walking down the streets of Jakarta.

so wrong, darling, so...displaced.

3 more days now...

of good things, and bad...

2007-06-01T13:52:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes, I feel like killing you...

but i'd kill for you, all the time"

i think i stress too much

2007-05-24T12:39:00.000+08:00

yea i know exams are over but last nite i thought too much about the design i slept thinking of you dead. oh shoot me.

i'm uninspired.

help me.

Hikmah 2

2007-05-22T00:43:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Nori, I was so hooked on Hikmah 2 and with the time i have in hand, hikmah season 2 was completed in 2 weeks, i think. i didn't really catch every minute of it like my dad, who can actually go for another rerun(!) but i got the gist of the sinetron and felt that even though it's more brutal than the first, i learnt much more. in season 2, you laugh a lot, but at the end, you will cry alot too. i cried bucketSloads la! coupled with pms, i cannot tahan la see Adriyan and Tino cry! sedihhh. i'd recommend you to watch it till the end okay. must-watch! Jap series dulu-kala also kalah.

By the way, i also watched my first Korean movie, "200 pounds beauty", and it was a blast! and hello! the guy next to me cried la! sedih ke bang? hahahahah. and i also watched "Mukhsin" and "Cinta Pertama" also. my verdict? "200 pounds beauty" beats Mukhsin and Cinta pertama hands and feet down! ten times fold! ehh, Mukhsin tak best la. tak se-best Gubra. tak yah tengok pun bleh. and Cinta Pertama? ermmm...i slept throughout the movie except the first 15 minutes. add some snores too!

Bottomline is, Hikmah 2 rocks! BIG time!

next movie? Je'taime Paris! Yes I do!

ej-jay/wordpress/el-jay/wordpress

2007-05-21T11:09:00.000+08:00

HAHA! so funny! just as i was thinking of shifting, blogger comes up with saving drafts automatically. freak. haha. still, i wanna migrate la. blogger always kicks up nonsense. but i'll see how.

i'm in love!

2007-05-16T12:53:00.000+08:00

...with these holey shoes for just $9.90! suweet! teehee

and oh! i love Bublay! i love love love sangat sangat!!!!

"Everything" is good!

here, enjoy! heck, come sing along!!!

"Everything"You're a falling star, You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And You're the perfect thing to see.

And you play your card, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
Cause you're my everything.yeah, yeah

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

2007-05-14T11:13:00.000+08:00

i have been gone, just to enjoy myself. it has been a great relief of burden after fyp presentation! best! and i'll take my time with the job hunting. i need the rest.

i don't think i'm too late to wish the perfectionist of a woman, the one who got her driving licence at just before 54 and who's still trying to master the English language, with much gusto at that...

to the one and only superwoman in my life, my mum!

A Happy Mother's Day!

more updates soon i hope.

to my MSE lovelies, I'm uploading the pics into multiply. I hope, by the time u babes read this, i've finished uploading all of them with captions and all. thanks for the havoc nite, u all will be remembered definitely!

my visual DNA

2007-04-30T19:28:00.000+08:00

I prefer doing this kinda stuffs to reading abt horoscopes. Fidz, u'd prolly like this too. Stop reading horoscopes okay. bad for health. hee.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

harrrrr

2007-04-30T09:24:00.000+08:00

Far and Nori, I don't know what i want for my birthday. ho-hum. must i really list them down? How come when it was Jannah, Far, Miza or Nori's birthday, you girls don't have to list down your wants. i mean, you didnt have to be pushed to write them down!!! not fair! am i that difficult? =/ bah.

Well, let's just say, the no. 1 in my wishlist is to ~~get married!~~ GRADUATE! grant me that please???

i am stalling now. i don't know how to go from here.

ok, gimme sth to show that you know me...besides the pink and purple. HAHA! oh boy, this is tough. I actually went back a year ago to read the wishlist i had last year, and i realised how easy i asked for what i wanted. now, i really dono.

goodness! this is bad tau.

do i really hafta do this.....boohooo

crap!

here goes...

eh, i cannot la.

i seriously don't know.

something practical? a wallet? perfume? cash voucher? ermmm....tak tau??????? acrylic paints? books?

hurhur

go figure ok.

rai tak tau ahhh

it's written

2007-04-19T16:47:00.000+08:00

no matter what you do or how you tried to change the course of life,

at the end of the day...

it's predestined and everything's written.

such is life. so, accept.

snakes and ladder

2007-04-13T21:45:00.000+08:00

Just when you thought you're on par and moving ahead one step at a time, you're thrown off ten steps back.

life is like that. Worse is when the die you throw keeps giving you a one and even if it's more than three, another snake's encountered.

where is divine intervention when you need one. keep faith, rai, keep faith. for now, gimme a ladder, why don't you...

this date sucks, nori must agree

silly

2007-04-07T15:55:00.000+08:00

While walking to the bustop today, I passed by a tree with leaves that were heavily hole-infested. like practically ever leaf was patterned. I assumed that the caterpillars must have feasted on them leaves. THEN! My weird mind started asking stupid questions... like...

how come the leaves on that tree have more holes than those from the next one.

the caterpillars are choosy too?

how come the caterpillars can climb up a tree?

oh no, the butterflies lay eggs on those leaves.

But how come the butterflies choose that tree to lay eggs?

Why not the rest of the other trees?

you mean they have to pay to eat on those leaves and so they pick the cheapest available one?

or is that tree having leaves that are healthier?

perhaps butterflies are colourblind?

Haha! come on laugh at me y'all!

Boo!

The thoughts this mind can conjure are daft, AND redundance loaded.

i'm avoiding social congregation, for now. i will be back when exams are over.

Sorry Midah, I will come see your daughter soon enough, baby shower or not.

Meanwhile, a very HAPPY HAPPY 24th to my dearest best friend, Farena. How nice, on your birthday, they're airing your fave movie, "A walk to remember"

I hope this journey you lead thus far, is one that you will remember, before you embark on the very significant day you will be reborn again.

I LOVE YOU lots. and fidza.

sombre

2007-03-31T20:25:00.000+08:00

this sucks.

just.

when.

will.

this.

torment.

end.

BLAST THAT MUSIC!

Everyone has a first love story to tell...

2007-03-24T23:37:00.000+08:00

Mukhsin : The new Yasmin Ahmad's movie. I like Gubra. So I'll prolly like Mukhsin too.

This vid is like some advert for Mukhsin, so budak-budak funny la. haha.

Kagome dikagumi...

2007-03-24T20:13:00.000+08:00

When I thought, I've tried,

You tell me, I haven't tried hard enough

When I thought I've tried hard enough

You tell me I'm not trying hard enough

Aiseyyyyyyyy

I thought it's the thought that counts!

Dingdong bell cockershell la!

*Ganbatte Inuyasha!*

included, excluded. I AM DELUDED!

2007-03-23T18:44:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, a good laugh will make you end up crying.
Either way, you will end up crying.

Thanks Ley, I wanted to laugh aloud while watching "Scare Tactics"...but I couldn't. I was in the comp lab. 'Twas a good break indeed. I made others laugh by retelling the story to them. I hope they won't cry tonight. I hope they weren't fake laughs. *Cat & Bedah*

High spirits, low spirits, in a matter of hours.
Women's hormones are unbelievable.
I can't believe myself!
The things I wanna accomplish, is endless.
Sometimes, I need someone to tell me that I can't do everything.
That I can't make everyone happy.

But I can try.
A try is more than enough.
I hope you understand.

The randomness of this entry is due to FYP.
Fooling Your Professor, that you Finish your Project and ending up Finding Yourself in the Pits. No matter what, you have to Fix Your Predicament or else, you Foil Your Plan altogether!

It's like a strangle that lasts forever.

Aceh, I need.

inget.
harus tetap semangat
harus semangat kayak kaka bawa saya jalan2! ~Harris

Smangat sparuh pingsan ada sih
pengen nangis lagi
harus aja, bukan wajib kan?

When you've lost the drive, you just lost it.
All you hang on to is the streak of hope that everything will go fine.
*Have faith!*

Picnic anyone?

2007-03-22T22:23:00.000+08:00

I'm in the mood for a HOLLI-DAY! i know, not yet, but who cares!

Yellow and white are the IN colours, I feel. Chris of AI was wearing a white stripped yellow polo tonight, coincident to the time I'm changing this skin. hot!!

Yellow, yellow dirty fellow,
Yellow, fresh lemons
Yellow and Turqoise!

Aaaahhh! Gimme sunshine!
Gimme warm weathers I can put the shades on
Gimme the heat of shopping!

I miss shopping...

and hence, these...

sizzzlinnngggg ling kaching!

why, hello darling. i'm gonna getcha, getcha, GETCHA!!

Picnic in Greece, anyone? *dream on!*

ZARA Spring/Summer

Dianah & Adil

2007-03-18T19:30:00.000+08:00

I got to know Dianah during my first year of NTU, Muslim Society, to be precise and saw how meticulous she was with the preparation of IAP's opening ceremony. Kecoh (in confirming venue what with all the cross emails!), but organised and neat altogether. The same applied to her wedding, no less.

Adil, on the other hand, was my team leader for fringe department in the very same IAP project. He was the most soft spoken guy I've ever seen/heard, suave also! and he, was of course, the hearthrob of many.

Their wedding was definitely an affair to remember, just like the saying goes, "bagai pinang dibelah dua", both equally good looking and smart.

This being my first wedding of the year, I think I felt overwhelmed with the magnitude of the affair, what with lilac decor and dais, and how all Dianah's cousins and family members were donned in lilac. suweet. Even more saccharinely sweet was when Dianah's father gave his speech and led everyone to recite some prayers for the newlyweds. *touched* (ToT)

The ambience was calm and cool, because of the air-con and I simply loved the fact there was no DJ blaring loud music, just a really good playlist Dianah was spot-on with! love! Food was glorious, especially when served by polite and smart attired caterers. How fun! Everyone in the family sits shake legs, no need to rewang or wash the dishes like typical weddings. Speaking of that, I wonder where that area for dish-washing was! hehe.

In short, everything was so...proper! even to the calls for photography session. Each family was announced one by one to take turns for a pic with the couple. We couldn't wait too long so we had to cut the queue and went up the stage. ok, not me. i very segan because there were so many ppl! so i just waved from downstairs. heh.

Well Dianah, your wedding was an inspirational one. lavish in its simplicity. Your preparations, toil and sweat paid off. I enjoyed myself very much. It was inevitably, a notch above the rest! Have a great honeymoon! Europe, I hear?

Next up, Diana Z. & Aidil eh??? woots!

I came with them ladies...

Bedah drove! Thank GOD!

Abang handsome, taken. Adik Abang Handsome ada...

Semoga berkekalan ke akhir hayat,

ke anak cucu and

sama-sama pimpin tangan masuk syurga!

Ameeeen!

amazing race all stars...

2007-03-12T12:29:00.000+08:00

i have no more drive to watch amazing race all stars, ok. because rob and amber are out.

BOOHOOOOOOOOO!

We're on fire !!!

2007-03-11T11:33:00.000+08:00

I had wanted to go Newton for so long, esp that time with the Washingtons but I was up to my neck with work. BUT I finally satisfied my craving for spicy food with my best girls. My first hand at cockles and belacan. Man! That was HOT! but power gedegak! hehe.

walked to town for some Coffee Bean, courtesy of Fidz, who attracted the wrong guy...and camwhored till we couldn't take it anymore...

As usual, the feast left me with some weird dreams that night and a few toilet trips the next morning. Still, great great food nontheless.

I believe Fidz has more pics. I'm done. with enjoying myself. for. now. =D

take care peeps!

my black Thursday

2007-03-08T14:26:00.000+08:00

I feel the need to let out...some steam................ pppsssssssssssssssttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Last night's rendezvous was, undoubtedly a great one, although pics will come later, since i'm in the lab and am very much turned off by the turn of things that have taken place thus far. tsk.

bad. black. thursday. okay, perhaps the blackness had since infested my week, when the sputtering machine went cranky on me. it's probably just not machines week i suppose. first, my dear lab technician did not turn on the Argon gas when the experiment had to be done, and so, there was no bombardment of particles and hence, there's no film being sputtered (exucuse the technical jargons).Therefore, the experiment failed. fine. this happened on Tuesday. ok, can still do on Wednesday. smile. So yesterday, I loaded my samples again (with nary a proper cleaning of the samples due to the ultrasonic bath that ALSO went cranky and broke down) and left them overnite (had to). and TODAY, lo and behold! what greeted me this morning was a note that said:

COMPRESSOR FAULTY

-Eric (080307)

wwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.................

deep deep sigh.

and so i left lab earlier to go for my tutorial. the only tutorial i've been religiously attending because attendance is compulsory and this tutor only takes attendance on random weeks (how sucky)... guess what!? I realised that the one time i did not attend that tutorial (because i had lab) was the time my tutor took attendance! *where the hell is that FU-plated bike!*

so yes, ok, nevermind. one attendance only, cannot kiil me. then, i received a text from Zub that the FESEM that we're supposed to do for our analysis this afternoon has also broken down! like hey!!!!!! these machines must have "pakat" to break down at the same time, no!? FISH!

SO, the only consolation I have for today is the fact that I'll get $30 credited into my account for my productivity when I helped some comm studies students with their FYP. Thanks ah Sha...

On a different note altogether, I think the old generation should be staying at home and shake leg instead of doing tough work like cleaning the drains outside my school, what more trudging thru the task with a hunchback and huge pail in tow. I cannot stand to look at such a sight. then again, who else would be doing that?

and another random thought that spurred from yesternight's conversation:

How come they are so kampung? What made them so kampung? Is it the upbringing? Then, how come WE are so modern, or becoming modern? Why?

with all this shit that happened,

say something nice, why don't you?

random good things

2007-03-06T11:37:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, in life, certain things are meant to be. When you're destined to be in the rut that you are, it's all written no matter what decision you make. *kiya hehhhhh*

I don't know why, but these days, I kept being reminded of NCC. For one, I tuned in to class 95 and they were playing Sukiyaki out loud. hello! I missed that song! and the other day, I heard "Hard to say I'm Sorry"...and then, whilst doing FYP with a postgrad, he happened to mention, "negative demonstration" and instantly, I blurted out, "I missed NCC". Hence, therefore, thus, the string of conversations started from there. Flashbacks poured. Back to G.O.H. guard.of.honour. 1999. what a milestone! apparently, the postgrad happened to be in the sea of G.O.H too.

Scary isn't it, to think that someone, was at the same place i was some 7 years ago, and then now, sitting next to me, helping me out with FYP. scary, to me.

well, the funny thing was, he asked, "did u remember the contingent commander?"

Err, NCC ladies, do you?

So I said, "Not really."

He went, "You remember Amran?" Woaahhh, familiarrrrr but can't register the face. "The contingent commander was scolded by Amran"

"What! How on earth do you command! Why are u croaking like a frog!??"

Jeng! Jeng! Then I remembered who! hehehehahaahhuhuh. I won't mention names la eh... nanti kena marahhhhh. hurhur.

Well, bottomline was, I had a gd conversation with that postgrad, conveniently speaking of good old times. bad ones, dont need to remember.

along the lines of FYP...I have been using Diana's thumbdrive to save all my work. and I happened to browse thru the Aceh pics she has. and here're some good things that won't be forgotten definitely...more of them boys...

burrrruuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkkk!

suuuuwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeettttttt.....

eeeeeerrrrrrrmmmmmmmmm

lhok ngha...

kesssssssssiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn

the missing of a yearning

2007-03-02T00:32:00.000+08:00

Just as I was about to type out the entry on how serene Germany life was, and how much I missed the air of being away from the hoi polloi of Singapore, I realised that there were emotions at stake too. having to face real desperate housewives, i was thrown into a whirlwind of gossips i only dared to hear...tsk.

BUT still, i missed the seasons. the heat of summer, the warm colours of autumn and snow beneath my boots. i missed them. and ultimately, i missed my godsis, Fajriyah. the lady who had generously cooked and shared her meals with me. the one who enjoyed flea market like me. i owe her many. the one whom i first met and instantaneously asked me to go Paris together. ha! Paris....another story altogether.

at this very moment, i feel so uninspired. unmotivated and i dont know how to continue blogging abt my missing for germany.

so with this, i end the entry for today.

bila rindu, kusebut namamu...

2007-02-22T21:00:00.000+08:00

"thx suratnya saya baru terima. Balasannya ntar ya, masa kuliah adalah masa indah yang membesarkan kita menjadi orang yang siap guna, jadi tetap semangat kuliahnya yaa..."

Always full of wisdom, always aspiring. Those words came all the way from Aceh and along with it brought all the rahmat I could ever ask for. Thank you.

...and speak of Aceh, my warmest congrats to Erwin and Mba Rahmah on their solemnization last Sunday. shocked! but still very very happy for the two.

fried fish belado

2007-02-20T19:20:00.000+08:00

I've taken the pics and cooked this dish since eons ago and haven't had the time to upload for archival purposes. tsk. I simply need to clear the heaps of pics in my lappie so here goes the recipe:-

Fried Fish Belado

1. Fry the fish. duh! Preferably black pomfret, (ikan bawal hitam) with salt, tumeric powder and tamarind juice (asam)
2. Prepare the Sambal Belado

3. Tomatoes, Chilli and Onions. Variations according to taste. If you like more spicy, add more chilli. if u like it more tangy, more tomatoes.
But, ideally, it'll be 5 red chillis, 3 onions and 3 huge tomats. Blend them.
4. Cut thin strips of tumeric leaf, (daun kunyit). If don't have, can use daun limau purut (lime leaves)
5. Heat the pan with some oil
6. Throw in the leaves. Fry until the aroma rises
7. Stir in the blended chilloniontomats

8. fry until garing or dry

9. Salt and sugar to taste

10. Pop in the fried fish. mix them and voila! DONE!

Serve with hot rice and mushroom clear soup. yum yum. :P
and oh! You can do this with chicken, paru and whathaveyous...as long as u fry them first yo.

Ok, happy CNY.

being open

2007-02-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

let me declare that today, i feel like being open.
i shall openly declare that i want to be open abt my thoughts and feelings. *yes that is lame, i know i know*

well that's supposedly the disclaimer for this entry, in case, someone summons me for being too blunt or whatever. as of now, just WHATEVER. *double-U-eee* alaah, the entry is only abt my day's rants whaaat, nothing abt racism or sorts. Pi yang racist, don't believe, ask her. haha.

i think i've been pretty much reprimanding THE guy who keeps despairing. i gave him no chance at all. because i was tired, and i simply cant take no more nonsense.patience has its limits too, hello. and because sorry, i'm not the sky. and i'm not sorry abt what i said. probably not yet. safe to say, mercury hovers around boiling point as i walked home today. challenges of life just kept pressing on. and it's true, the last hurdle is always the toughest. *i will survive*

but it's true too among the three of us, i am not the most patient. i am rather quick tempered. sometimes i can keep it under the covers, other times, steam just oozes through the tudung. heh.

annnyyyywwwaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy, someone across the causeway dropped me a msg over at friendster yo. and this is what he said exactly (word for word):

me 23/m tapi macam gal,suka pakaian macam kebaya moden,kurung,tudung,petticoat,u bole ajar i,itu pun kalau u sudi dan open minded dengan orang macam i ni. Can i call u just to keep in touch,if u don mindlah.Gambar i tu make over aje di KL dulu

After viewing his pics, I'm not sure if he's a he la sehh...hurhur. so tell me now how do i answer to this msg? no need to answer? but like very the kesian...hahahahahahah

and while at friendster, someone's pic shocked me. ooh lalaaaaaa. i do have slight reservations abt putting a picture with ~~the opposite sex~~ my boyfriend(s), and what more holding hands. i was definitely taken aback when i saw that pic, and especially that of a kid from a well established islamic school *read: FH*. woahhhh. daring, daring....

EH! but if it's fated already, I don't mind yet another communion of two lands, that of SG-IND kind...inspired through a tsunami relief effort. meh la pak-pak-bing-bing. don't need shy shy horrr..nothing exclusivela.

and speak of pak-pak-bing-bing, i'm sure most of the Washingtons have already known what the BIG news come 10th April is gonna be. shall i be open with this, F? huh? shall I? i will still keep mum, cuz i don't wanna jinx it eh. so, rest of the world, (who have probably already known) stay tune. hurhur. lame lagik. haha

oh! oh! oh! Congrats to liza for her newborn girl, Khailiza born on 13th Feb.

dah tu jer. this entry is brought to by the theme, "tak sayang mulut" and stress from fyp (finding your partner) peppered with ke-lame-an and ke-tak-de-kerja-an.

NONSENSE.

2007-02-05T22:51:00.000+08:00

“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.”

“A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.”

Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.

“A wrestling match.” he laughs “Yes you could describe life that way.”

So which side wins, I ask

“Which side wins?”

He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.

“Love wins. Love always wins.”

Bila kita mencintai yang lain,

Mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar...

Aquarian babes

2007-02-03T13:07:00.000+08:00

I'll keep it simple lest infesting this blog with more lameness. bah! haha! so here's a couple of shoutouts to the recent 24 year-olds.

Jan and Fidz, wait long long for your presents ehhh.

leap of faith

2007-02-02T10:31:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM FREAKKKINNNG EXCITED I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.
THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME, (US) SUCH A PREVILIGED POST OF DESIGNING YOUR ******. PRESSURE PRESSURE BUT I'M EXCITED.

I HATE YOU FOR TELLING THE NEWS WITH SUCH POISE AND CALM. DAMN! AND I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY OWN REACTIONS ALREADY. HMMPH. AND IT HAD TO BE IN THE DARK HELLO!!!

I HATE THE FACT THAT I WANTED TO CRY BUT HELD BACK MY TEARS I DON'T FREAKING KNOW WHY.

I HATE THE FACT THAT I AM JEALOUS! CUZ YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING AND FINALLY DOING IT! HAHA!

BUT YOU KNOW, I LOVE YOU ALTOGETHER! WE DO!

The importance of this entry is SO high that it supercedes Fidza's birthday wish. *jangan marah fidza eh*

FOR THE REST OF THE WORLD, STAY TUNE. I WILL REVEAL THE MUCH ANTICIPATED NEWS COME 10TH APRIL. (but u know, that doesn't mean, you can't ask me personally wat's going on cuz if you call and ask i will tell!!!!!!!!!!!! Awin please don't call me. you wait until 10th April okayy. Meanwhile, have a great guessing game!)

I AM SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPPPPPPYYYYY I CAN DIE IN PEACE!

=)

Photoshop madness

2007-01-28T13:08:00.000+08:00

Does anyone have Photoshop software I can ~~ciplak~~ borrow to be reinstalled in my notebook?

Puhleeeeassssssseeeeeeeee. Por Favor.

*anyone???*

this is for ita.

2007-01-25T15:51:00.000+08:00

HAHA!

There's this kid back in Aceh who loves to compliment the sisters JUST SO he could get letters from us. He'd call Pi, "Kak Pipi cantik kayak itik"...or when he doesn't get the letter he'll go, "Kak Pipi jelek kayak bebek". So when he ran out of things to rhyme with cantik, he'd say, "Kak Rai cantik kayak bidadari." *Fuuuwaaaahhh* *haha* but when it comes to Ita, and because he wants to make the terms exclusive to each sister, he called Ita, "Kak Ita cantik kayak BULAN." (maybe cuz when he looked at Ita, he really sees the MOON!)

muahahahaha

In relevance to the abovementioned, today, there's a song that has been playing itself in my head. LIKE. ALL. THE. TIME.

It goes like... "Di wajahmu.....ku lihat bulannnnnn......."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

kesian Ita.....ok fuzzybuddies, defend! HAHAHAHAH

*stress with FYP* (-_-')

oh darling darrling....

2007-01-22T13:14:00.000+08:00

buy for me....oooohhh....would you buyyyy for me???

**hurhur**

it's just the return of the materials girl in me...

RED IS THE NEW RAY

**double hurhur**

and these are MEN...i adore...

2007-01-21T14:44:00.000+08:00

for suckers of good-looking MUSLIM MEN singing praises of Allah, this vid is a must-watch! caveman pun kalah! :D a new perspective! teehee.

Yaaaaaaaaaaa......ganteng banget deh!

ada merinding bulu roma, ada sebak rasa hati tengok jorang nyanyi...macam touching gitu ahh.

*thanks Bro Suryadi*

*cuba kalau Hafiz K yang nyanyi? tak bleh angkat dok! :/* *kidding!* *NOT!*

in the face of adversity...

2007-01-17T16:17:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, some people (like me) forget to take a step back and look at the bigger picture *literally*...

While i was stumbling on how to figure out the diffraction pattern on the monitor, my loyal comrade pointed out something that has been staring back at me.

no matter how difficult, He's in everything you do. So keep Him close.

Still clueless? Perhaps this will help...

yet another revelation! Subhanallah!

Give thanks to Allah

2007-01-14T11:12:00.000+08:00

For the moon and the stars,
Praising all day for what is and what was
Take hold of your Iman
Don't give in to syaitan
Oh you who Believe,
Please Give thanks to Allah

This was one song I heard in Aceh, introduced by a brother from Al-Kahfi, and among us, we were debating whether Michael Jackson sang the song...because if he did, his "hamd" is superb! I almost believed that he sang the song until Naajia convinced me it was Zain Bhikha. Naufal did too. So yea, I conceded that yeaaahhh it's Zain Bhikha. Just continue listening to my playlist, you can identify the similar voice. very soothing...at the end of it all, don't forget to listen to Abang Bo's one and only song. His voice also power gedegak!

I came to realise that, I've never really had any fancy for songs aired in the radio or bought ANY albums throughout my entire living life. Ok fine, I did persuade my mom to buy for me the "Raihan" CD. *hurhur* Other than that, I think I either downloaded more or burned CDs from friends. Cheapo? maybe. but i have very low loyalty to songs. I listen awhile and I get tired of them, especially those with no meaning. So i don't understand how Pi or Ita can simply memorise the lyrics! Waste of time I thought.

BUT!

I highly recommend you to listen, ponder, understand and MEMORISE the lyrics of the first song in my playlist okay. If need be, sing to your young children. I think they're good zikir starters.

Honestly, be grateful. for everything in life. be grateful for the rain. even though you can't ride your bike or wear pretty shoes, at least the rain keeps you cool. If you caught a cold, take it as a time to cleanse your sins. Think positive. always.

Recently, I had a conversation with a fellow sister (read: Nori *haha*) with regards to the Aceh trip and how it left us thinking of the blessing in disguise for everything that happened. It's mindblowing! It's very interesting to see myself thinking for every setback I faced day by day.

but i'm still learning. still learning to not get angry easily, ALTHOUGH whenever I think I'm losing my patience I was quick to think of Pak Rahmat's words. "Jaga lidahmu!"

Hence, silence is golden

I'm still learning, I will say that again. So I appreciate your constructive criticisms. thank you.

I will end with some words of the book that keep me thinking positively

Three friends you should keep:
Happiness, Peace and Willpower
Three enemies you must stay away from:
Being pessimistic, worrisome and quick to give-up

So start your week afresh! Good Luck!

ever since school starts...

2007-01-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

i've been eating...

and eating...

and eating...

PERIOD.

mutton chop chop chop...

2007-01-07T21:28:00.000+08:00

seds gils...fork-and-spoon-lickingOOD!

i know i know, it' like as if i have nothing better to do. but not to worry, school starts tomorrow. busy busy busy i foresee...

minah thods, jan, far, miza & nori : friday evening block ur calendar. proper meet up

farena and fidza : saturday make urselves free? get back to me!

here's to a good semester ahead, insya-Allah! bedah : jgn macam2 caveman eh!? hehe

Album "Syiok Sendiri"

2007-01-07T14:21:00.000+08:00

Naufal naufal..... *Ya Allah!* He really had a lot of time to sing (on his own?) and compiled all the songs we performed for the kids in aceh. But seriously, u have a winning voice la, unlike someone else. hahaha! *kidding*

i'll prolly upload the song for all to hear ey.

So, I created an album cover for u Abang Bo. *lagi iseng-iseng niii* muahahahhahahhahahahha

haha!

sorry the silhouetted head a bit bumpy,my photoshop skills still rusty. hehe.

jangamarahehnaufaleh.

weallloveyou.

my friend, M...heh

2007-01-04T20:16:00.000+08:00

As mentioned, I’d like to share with u the conversation I had with my German-American (born American, teaching in Germany) friend some nights ago about……. US. Hurhur. Controversial as it maybe but definitely an eye-opener for me. *world peace!* heh. (i know i do have US and Australian readers)

This friend of mine (let’s call him M) was a stranger I met whilst on the train home from Koeln to Bochum.

I happened to be pleasantly surprised by some rather liberal-gorgeous-to-the-max German-Turkish girls who’re Muslims. More astounding was the fact that they were fasting. Ha! I flipped la! I mean, they looked like any other German teens and since I was wearing hejab they asked me if it was Maghrib yet. I offered my biscuits and we chatted.

So my friend, M, overheard our conversation and just politely probed in by smiling to us. And as simple as that, he initiated a friendship as we exchanged email addresses.

I haven’t kept in touch with him since I came back from Germany except for one or two quick Hi and byes over MSN or simply asking abt the weather in Bochum.

That day(in Germany)/night(in Singapore) *HA!*, he was just browsing through my online pictures (on msn) and being the friendly him, complimented on them. Then, the string of conversations started, for at least an hour or so. I will just leave u the snippets of them aye...

M: so did you hear about the saddam hussein hanging...is that not the most barbaric thing you have ever heard of! I am so disgusted!

Rai: im disappointed honestly. hasty i thought

M: i am just shocked that it's now 2007 and we are still killing people like it's the middle ages!

Rai: hurhur tell me abt it!

M: hasty at best...the whole thing seemed like a mafia hit or something...and in no way official or legal. Not that there is a right way to kill someone I guess.

i honestly don't know what we are going to to with Iraq...it is really a situation we shouldn't have ever become involved with...it only gets worse...and people continue to die on both sides..

oh right those weapons of mass destruction that are no where to be found!!! total lies!!! as an american, i still pay taxes and i wonder for what!? to be lied to i guess.

Rai: i know it sounds weird, but is our conversation tapped into? HAHA!

M: i will be taken by 'homeland security' soon! HA!

no, i am simply expressing what a lot of americans are feeling at the moment. the administration knows it...i saw a poll recently that stated that fewer than 30 percent of americans think the president is doing a good job.
.
.
.
I am just looking at photos of singapore online...does everyone live in a tall building? I love that!!! I wish there were more tall buildings here in Germany.
.
.
.
oh we have tons of muslims in america...it is the second largest religion in the states. i grew up with muslims, christians, jews, hindu and buddhist friends...for normal people it's no big deal. there are always uneducated people who are stupid and ignorant and that is everywhere.

what a disaster this entire thing has turned out to be and now all the muslims think we hate them...and it's not true. there are tons of american muslims who are part of our country too.

*New York here I come!* heh

i feel like the president feels like he is fighting a holy war...which is bullocks as there is nothing of god in war.
.
.
.
a bit off subject but have you ever done the hajj?

oh cool. i would like to go to mecca too...but i can't get into the Kabba so it probably wouldn't be so fun for me.
.
.
.
well, i am technically a Baha'i' which is kind of like Islam...but I don't practice any faith...i am a non-believer...which is a bit sad but true.

it's a religion that grew out of islam...like i said. i am that in name only, but i don't worship.

do you often go to mosque? are there mosques in tall buildings too or do they have a bit of space? probably a stupid question but I can't imagine a mosque inside a tall building.

so u get the drift? interesting isnt it? It was assuring to know that an American shares similar sentiments abt saddam hussein as I do, but there was a lil information overload for me, especially, the one abt Baha'i'. I've honestly no idea that this religion existed, even in Singapore! but now I know and it's good to learn sth new...

enough sharing for now...

and who wants to go New York hello???? it is safe for hejab wearers right? teehee

Fajar Yang Hidayah...

2007-01-03T10:52:00.000+08:00

I exceptionally LOVE this puisi(s) from our fellow teammate, the one-with-the-senget-grin-thefirstmalayonthemoon, Hafiz Kusairi and I thought I'd like to share them with you. Read on.

Fajar Yang Hidayah

orang-orang kaya seperti kami

bila tiba di sini

jatuh miskin

miskin jiwa

miskin tabah

miskin ridha

di sini

bumi orang kaya

kaya jiwa

kaya tabah

kaya ridha

kaya budi

tidak hairan

jika setiap enam purnama

kami tiba ke sini

mengemis-ngemis kekayaanmu

ombak itu bagai mencuci cela kemiskinan

dan melimpah ruahkan bagimu kekayaan Tuhan

terima kasih

atas kesudian menerima fakir-fakir ini

terima kasih Tuhan

atas setiap yang Kau curahkan

kami sekadar mengemis cintaMu

lewat wali-walimu di fajar yang hidayah ini

Seorang ibu seorang bapa

seorang ibu

seorang bapa

bakal menantiku sehari dua ini

dan akukan kembali biasa

kaya mewah dan lupa

seorang ibu

seorang bapa

hilang di bumi Tuhan

ketemu di langit Tuhan

namun masih tercari-cari

di balik ombak manakah

terselindungnya jasad-jasad yang dideraskan ke syurga

seorang ibu

seorang bapa

hargailah jika ada

mahupun tiada

moga ketemu

ibu bapa yang ada

dengan yang hilang

bersama sekubah

sebuah masjid bernama tabah

Power Gedegak! ok that's all abt Aceh for (supposedly) last year... the spirit lives on! and pictures can be viewed at my multiply

Next entry? the one abt my conversation with an American with regards to Saddam Hussein, US and Baha'i'...

My Story

2007-01-02T09:47:00.000+08:00

Trust me, the trip was so much fun that I see myself slowly slipping into depression for missing the team so much! Really! Now that calls for a gathering soon soon! Bandret bandret!!! Haha

I miss our morning songs and late night laughters plus the “pek pek!” from the cik pons! I miss hafiz K’s antics, aqi n ari (as usual), izad’s craziness (he was going bonkers I tel u), the sunset! Oh! The sunset! Subhanallahhh. And Pak Rahmat laaaaa….ho hum…

But ultimately, I think I’m here to share my story, THE story, of a trip that will not be forgotten, that kept us grounded despite the challenges we faced.

So let’s start off with the most memorable event EVER! The bus ride from Medan to ACEH! Yes, it was the longest bus ride of my life! The road to Aceh was a ten hour ride that runs through mountain roads winding along a steep drop and with every hairpin turn, I could feel my stomach lurch back n forth. The road was so narrow that the vehicle from the opposite direction had a very tiny margin whilst passing our bus. I dono how the rest could sleep thru the ride

Miraculously, we reached Banda Aceh close after 2 am, and warmly greeted by the anticipating ibu aning AND the not so welcoming “local residents”…heh heh heh. But being the exhausted us, the supernatural thoughts were absent until days later.

As if the bus trip was not torturing enough,we had no sleep that night n the next morning, Aishah n Izad surprised us with the news of a bus accident. A similar bus to the one we took that overturned just after we left the same venue. Hur hur. No wonder God stalled our journey with the punctured tyre. Otherwise, the accident could have been us. Somehow, after I reached, I strongly believed that everything was predestined. Should fate says that we do not reach FH, then we do not…but it was written and by Allah’s will, I gotta see those familiar faces again…

My first day was assigned to be the home team where we had to help the kids cook for the rest of their friends. Truth be told, I wasn’t that elated to be cooped in the kitchen and meddle with the gas stove, but hey! It was fun la!

In reference to my initial intentions, I was glad to be placed in the kitchen to at least help in the food preparations for 150 kids. Orphans, let me add.

Alhamdulillah, the water supply and electricity flowed well throughout this trip so no one complained abt lack of water, except that every morning, the queue to the bathroom is like the queue to the doctor. HAHA! We practically had to take numbers. Once again, ppl, please eh, be grateful!

Every passing day is just a day with the kids in whatever activities that we planned. The late noons spent at the sawah or shopping at the market. The evenings were spent interacting and entertaining them and vice versa. But when night falls………………

Jeng jeng jeng

HAHAHA!

I did not get proper sleep for almost 3 nights cuz I had to “take care” of Pi who was blessed with the third eye. EH! I think I had to look after 3 more adults la! Apparently these ppl could not sleep as there were sightings and feelings of the hair-raising kind. HAHA! I don’t know how I found my courage to brave thru the nights la but trust me, I was perspiring like them too. I imagined the cik pon above me, beside me and all over me…but Alhamdulillah, I understood the power of Bismillahiirrahmanirrahim after that night. A very simple phrase that carries profound significance.

I can go on rambling about the trip yes, but that is abt the gist of the whole thing. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I know I dont need Aceh as a constant reminder of how luxurious life is in Singapore, but I know, you hafta immerse yourself in the experience to know what i mean. Ask the first timers. They wanna go again. :)

Saddam Hussein

2006-12-31T18:56:00.000+08:00

I woke up especially early to celebrate Eid, only to be hugely disappointed by the news of the late Saddam's execution. I have to say that it was a cruel decision, one that lack sensitivity, to hasten the day of execution to one of Muslims' Big day. HUGE mistake i say.

Being the "moderate" Muslims of the world, we are expected to possess the reticence and respect the decision, otherwise be stamped terrorists....but i am pretty sure the unrest that is about to metastasize is not easy to palliate. seriously.

All day today, images of the noose around his neck kept flashing in my head and i wondered why they resorted to this very day. A rumination that I hope will lead to a blessing behind this all.

Strangely, Saddam Hussein held a significant place in my heart, ever since I saw him when I was in Primary One, as the man who took time off to be on his knees during the Iraq war. He left a great impression on me and I'm sure he has paid for his sins on this world. Insya-Allah.

and a great lesson I learnt from my Aceh trip, from another man I respect and adored, is that one must always think positive for the past will not return. Laa Tahzan wa Laa Tabkii.

So, with that, I plead, let us all recite Al-Fateha in memory of Saddam Hussein. *Al-Fateha*

Till my next entry...the one on Aceh definiely! :) Salam Aidil Adha

the most impactful, perhaps this one...

2006-12-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

siapa tak pergi memang rugi! betul, tak bedek!
truly spiritual, totally mind-boggling!

when the rest of the world worried for the big flood,
and the numerous earthquakes,
I was dancing by the paddy fields,
jumping off the drains
in my baju kurung, no less.
with my little angels of brown eyes...

third time, the best time.

thanks to the ghost busters

thanks to the team

thanks to badut sarkas

thanks to bukit yang licin

thanks to berdaks berteps-teps...oops inside joke!

Tepuk Fajar Hidayah! SEKALI LAGI! JANGAN TAK JADI!

pre-trip

2006-12-17T13:58:00.000+08:00

Aahh...before leaving for Aceh, a couple of shoutouts for Dee and Far

A pity Far can't join us for the trip or it would have been double triple fun! but nontheless, u'll be remembered no worries.

OK!

12 hours counting down...

Ready

Get Set

GO

GO

GO!!!!

my heart

2006-12-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

My mom always told me when i was younger not to stare at others, or laugh in front of strangers cuz they may think that we are laughing at them. But sometimes, you cant help but look intently at certain characters who never fail to grab ur attention.

I was laughing with Pi...while on the train...and at the same time looking in the direction of a woman sitting directly across us. She must have thought I was laughing at her.

She called me "Idiot Muslim" yo!
When she said that, I was still laughing at some really funny joke I created. hur hur.
but Pi with her telinga tikus heard her saying that...
"Just because you wear the tudung, you think you very religious?"

Wahh! My heart! I thought I could forget that bad experience since it happened on Wednesday, but obviously not.

So I reflect, perhaps, I must have done wrong to be called that. I must have called people names before. So nevermindlah. It's ok lah...

and Today, I learnt a valuable lesson from Naajia, a fellow teammate for the Aceh trip. It is, her humility and sincerity. terserlah I tell you! Thank you sis. "I suka you!" in true Naajia style.

Being a volunteer is no easy feat...i wonder myself, will I still stay in Darussalam should my mom not work there anymore? or have I grown too attached to that place, I will continue to give my support?

Hey! It is one of Allah's Paradise. Why should I leave?

my heart is yours.

i'm obsessed with chubby tots

2006-12-05T13:15:00.000+08:00

Aris and....ermmmm....alah i forgot his name...e kakak (eh, what kakak!! CIK la sile)
nt cute eh pliss eh

Jazeel and Anaqi

jinan n me

and THIS is zee cutest!!!!

Lookit! his eyes....aiseyyyy
aiman faruqi...
SHHH! i stole it from salihin's multiply...heh

one more called Lutfi (familiar?) but i haven't his pic and of course Eskimo boy I'ril Rifqy...plus Aniq Izhan.

bring them babies mannn!

weekend rush...

2006-12-03T09:33:00.000+08:00

just as i thought of resting after the 3 week stint of exams...this happened........

cameraman *my other cousin* told us to be informal. we chose to be bimbotic. tsk tsk.

HALAL DAH!

haaaiizzzzz....beautifully perfect...
Lavish and expensive...

More pics later! Off to e sanding now..

booooohooooooooooo

2006-11-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

four more papers to squeeeeezeinto a week.

scattered braincells - check!
tutorials everywhere - check!
thinking of friday oredi - check!
ask mak to solat hajat for me - check!
dream that tmr never comes - check!

basically, everything is fallin apart ey...

tapi RAI tetap relek ajerrrrr niiiiiii...

somebody slap her!
while u're at it, pray for me too eyy

*makasih yaa*

yearn

2006-11-25T14:21:00.000+08:00

pengen ke sana lagi niiihhh...pengen buanget!!!!
counting down
.
.
.
.
.
.
21 days
THREE WEEKS!
cannot wait!!!

okayy this pic rendered me true acehnese but heck!
i hope e Jakarta kids go back...all my boys are there!

come blackout or fire...
Aceh Full Circle

here I come!!!

and with the company of Aqi, Ari, Nori and Dee
tak.boleh.sabar.

CANNOT WAIT!!!
faham!!???

exam revelation :)

2006-11-23T11:19:00.000+08:00

yesterday i had my biomaterials paper. it was so tough i could burn the paper and make it into a new biomaterial or something. and to make things worse, the girl sitting beside me was taking a different paper from me. 'twas Introduction to Asian ART! !*&$#? damn I miss art.

SIGH

and the day before biomat paper, I went to lab and spent 5 hours waiting for the machine to sputter a layer of ceramics of thickness 0.8 microns! the thickness of a strand of hair. FIVE HOURS man! 5 freaking hours to create a layer that is not even as long as hair. and even at five hours, it wasn't a perfect layer. think about it la. 5 hours for a centimeter of hair, can you imagine the time God spent on us???

and while i was cramming the notes on biomaterial, something else crossed my mind. I realised that there is NO material that can EVER perfectly replace the cells in our bodies. All the implants made of metals or ceramics or polymers can never replace the composition of our bones nor our muscles. They have tried, but the material implanted in the bodies are either too strong, or too weak. no perfect fit. even when an implant is meant to improve one's condition, say, contact lens, it doesn't escape from infections and is only temporary.

i guess it's always best when it's natural...

so c'mon people. Appreciate yourself kayy... you are beautiful no matter what people say. Smile and give yourself a hug.

so! back to studying now and let my brains do the talkin! c yA!

about being good

2006-11-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wish i'm naive and gullible.
so that i won't hafta know much about what's going on around me.
sometimes i wish i'm bestowed with no feelings
for i don't wanna get involved in the turmoil of misunderstandings

i wish i'm good
i wish i can be good
i wish i can look at someone and not have ill thoughts about him/her
when i'm good i wish i can be better
in a split second when i have evil thoughts of someone
i wish i can realise it and think of Allah
i wish i can get less angry
gosh i wish i have short term memory!!
i wish i can say the right words at the right time

but i'm only human

all in the hope of being a better person. no. being good.

but it's not about being good...
it's about how good you wanna be...

you know they say that when you're truly sincere about what you do,
it's reflected in your eyes
and shines through your face

***

i wish you could look at me the way you look at her
and tell me you love me the way you love her
because i know she's better
because i know i'm not as demure as her
still i accept

boy you don't know how much you're loved
yet you cast your eyes away
from the ones who truly love you
so i let go

because in order for good to triumph over evil
is for the good to do nothing...

***

truly, at this hour, no one has given me much more worries than you.
i hope you will be safe in your journey
perhaps this is the turning point
of everything

***

honestly, i'm just typing away...
because i'm all mixed up

if you can read my heart
it says "No i don't mean it that way"
it says "Sorry all this had to happen"

***

I hope December gives me more strength than June

***

Ya Allah, ya tuhanku, Ya Allah, zat yang membolak-bailkkan hati, berikanlah ketenangan pada jiwa yang bergelora, berikanlah keihsanan pada hati yang kecamuk, berikanlah kesabaran pada amarah yang membara. Sesungguhnya kami hanya hamba mu yang lemah segala-galanya. Amin...

Hikmah...it's OK lahh!!

2006-11-14T13:06:00.000+08:00

i caught the last episode of Hikmah on tv2 n y'all should watch it too. i know i know! i complained of how i hated that show but well, as the saying goes, don't hate sth too much u'll end up liking it...besides, teuku ryan is to die for! and gunawan!!! teehee...

how come Singapore doesn't air the whole song of Hikmah??? so weird...anyway, here's the meaningful lyrics. wanna hear the song..hop to eppi's aight.

SUBHANALLAH,WALHAMDULILLAH,

ASTAGHFIRULLAH,WALLAHUAKBAR

SUBHANALLAH,WALHAMDULILLAH,
ASTAGHFIRULLAH,HASBIYALLAH

Di tepi kerinduanku..

Memandang hampa..

Pada dunia..

Ku hanya orang biasa..

Tak lepas dari..Rasa kecewa..

Hanya pada-Mu,

Tempat ku mengadu..

Pahit yang kini menyeksaku..

Aku percaya..

Tiada yang sia-sia..

Semua..kan ada HIKMAH nya..

Angan yg membalut mimpi...

Dulu melukis

Nyanyian hati

Ku hanya orang yang kalah...

Satukan hatiku... yang terbalar

Hanya pada-Mu,

Tempat ku mengadu..

Pahit yang kini menyeksaku..

Aku percaya..

Tiada yang sia-sia..

Semua..kan ada HIKMAH nya..

SUBHANALLAH,WALHAMDULILLAH,
ASTAGHFIRULLAH,WALLAHUAKBAR
SUBHANALLAH,WALHAMDULILLAH,

ASTAGHFIRULLAH,HASBIYALLAH

ok back to books!

raya yang tak basi basi...

2006-11-12T10:38:00.000+08:00

a day full of peace signs (esp from Jan) haha! 137824673 hours at the carparks and yummilicious briyani...in short, a half day well spent, a lepak session around Singapore...

and chelsea won, hell-O! Chelsea vs Watsons... :)

jangan lihat saya begitu

2006-11-10T11:09:00.000+08:00

because everyone's a hypocrite

someway or another

we are all hypocrites

picture perfect

2006-11-08T11:09:00.000+08:00

I've always longed for a brother, a younger one will do. and yes, I have so many of them now, those from Fajar Hidayah Aceh. I love each and everyone of them. However, the past one and half week saw me hosting a new brother whom I've never met before. he was just like any of the other boys. baik, sopan and all things nice. worse, he made our Raya pic different from any other years. he made my family picture perfect.

Yesterday's parting with him was not good. the things i said to him was not wat i meant to say. *for those who witnessed it, please, u should know I did not mean it, and please just keep it to yourselves* it was definitely regretted. and my reasons were personal. Sadly, I couldn't even bring myself to see him go. not much tears but the heart was sore.

In my guilt we exchanged sms until 3 am. it was so heart wrenching to know he was tear soaked, and that his 2 weeks here had changed his life forever.

I was a possessive and protective sister towards him. and he knows. I guess Allah has his reasons for not letting me have a real brother cuz I know I will dote on him like mad. I am so possessive that no one can treat him nicer than me.

and no, I haven forgotten the rest I was close to. Agus, Rizki, Yazid, Nazar, Bastari, Fikri, Muhajirin and the list goes on. They're always in my mind.

So, to my Teuku Muhammad Harris, if u're reading this, ka Rai mohon maaf sekali lagi atas salah silap dan kasar bahasa yang telah mengguris hati. mohon maaf sebesar-besarnya. iyya, ka Rai ganas, ka Rai selalu gangguin kamu tp yg pasti kamu tau kami semua sayang ama kamu. ingat pada yang bagus aja, yang jelek ditinggal di Singapur...

There's a reason behind everything that happened the past 2 weeks. There's a blessing in disguise. i know. Should i bear grudges over what happened (not to the organisers), all pahala is gone. So i will redha and let it all go. Oh Allah, give me strength.

Laa Tahzan wa Laa Tabkii...

the one about Hajrul and Fathin...

2006-11-07T02:59:00.000+08:00

tsk tsk tsk

Everyone wants to be treated like that...
and only with Hajrul, tak tau kenaper... I volunteered to do the same thing he did to Fathin but they dowwan ni!!! HAHA.

time to miss them...real soon. time to miss him. already. *sigh*

boring lecture?

2006-11-03T23:46:00.000+08:00

not this one. trust me. all NTU grads should really see this. effing HEEELARIIIOOOUUUUSSS!!! really brightened up my night. heh.

funny, no?

btw, i'm so proud of the Asian tribe in Survivor! Bangga saya...hehe...

me and aiman at 4501 CA2

2006-11-01T22:32:00.000+08:00

we were both staring at the rest who were frantically copying each other just as the lecturer said pens down. we were staring in awe.

me: asal dorang smangat giler ahh??

aiman: cuz it's a matter of life and death

me: asal kita tak smangat cam dorang ahh??

aiman: cuz it's not a matter of life and death to us.

and then silence, as we stared at them. they were practically oblivious, copying away like nobody's business.

aiman: might as well hand in the notes wat!!

that was, aiman n me, at the end of 4501 CA2. how's the test u ask me? copy je la! open book test wat! hurhur...

watersport sometime?

2006-11-01T10:43:00.000+08:00

aku nak wakeboard jugak!!! yes, clad in long sleeves n long pants and waterproof tudung, no less. one day i will.

saw Harris doing it and it looked so FUN!

but i dont think i'll pay ski360 another visit since the guy in charge is a freak. i must have long forgotten abt the dating world and simply gave him my number. tsk tsk tsk. wat was i thinking!!! and he's been callin me everynight eversince. siao.

and thanks frena for the tip and seibul for his enthusiasm. hurhur. next time, bring me plak la ehh. later when i've all the gears ready. teehee.

Hikmah Tsunami

2006-10-25T12:02:00.000+08:00

i've always restricted myself from unleashing my innermost thoughts or feelings of angst in my blog, because I know, at the end of the day, I'd have regretted my actions or worse, bear the consequences. So, I always choose to keep mum about events that make me feel like erupting or confined me of my rights. I am like that.

I knew, some time back, I probably had no control of how words were quickly typed out and published, I may have hurt people out there. because, when you're angry, you're not rational. Worse, when the syaitans are free from them chains. or when u're on pms. worst, when it's a combination of both. reserve me the last option.

BUT, when it comes to the well-being of the Aceh kids, I get edgy when they're not treated the way they should be. It pains my heart when the tiniest or simplest thing of not giving them food pissed me off. It angered me that the cameraman made them do the dikir when they clearly did not learn the steps. Why must the Chinese minister and his troop of guests get the food first and the kids got the leftovers? Why must the journalists be entertained first when you know the kids were sleep-deficient the night before? Even when they were about to partake in the food fiesta, some had to take five for an interview. don't even get me started on how Pak Nusa was treated.

the trapped heat within that canvas canopy did not help at all. ho hum.

we had a choice. but we did not do anything. authorities. authorities. authorities.

of course, I couldn't do anything. I wasn't in power to do so. I only managed to serve them drinks only to find them deported to the side and lined up to meet and greet the minister.

you see, the thing with these kids is that they're nice. really nice. they wont say that they're tired or hot or hungry or sleepy. even when u ask, they said no, because they dont want to hurt our feelings. dont want us to feel bad. but from their faces you can tell the weariness. hence, i dont like it when they're taken advantage of. they never made me feel like that in Aceh.

I got to meet one of the foster parents who were taking the kids home. She was nice and she treated Dara like her own daughter cuz she has no children. Lucky for her. I didn't see the rest of the foster parents because I don't wanna form opinions or pass unfair judgements of how they will treat these kids. Let's just pray the kids thoroughly enjoy their stay.

Now, that brings me to the other topic. Rai, are you obsessed with these kids or what??? call it obsession, call it whatever you want. I choose to believe it's love. simple. true love. the kind where you go all out, or do anything for their sake...

Other than that, there are more than enough reasons to the neverending rattle about my Aceh kids. You may not know these, but their doa are the most makbul doa I've experienced. their presence only made me feel calm and gave me confidence of the looming obstacles.

You may not know that when I wanted to leave Aceh last June, a few of them prayed, in front of me to fall sick so that I could prolong my stay with them. and true enough, be it due to exhaustion or whatever, I was sick just the next day.

When they were here in Singapore, I had to bring home 4 kids, 5 teachers, Ita, Pi and Athin home from the zoo. Imagine the number of taxis we had to take and the cost! and I only had $50. How could I possibly had enough at that peak hour? 13 people. I was at my wits end. Just as we were walking to the taxi stand, a van nearby called out and asked where I was going and offered to send all of us back to my place at $25. instantly, I felt the divine intervention. and here's the catch. the van driver? An indian guy called RAI. *shrugs*

My mom had to cook for these 13 ppl and more on that fateful day. She had less than three hours. and she did it in two. with two hands at that. I dono how she did it but when it's for a good course, Allah makes it easy for you, no?

I don't want to list all the things that make me stay true to this commitment. it's more than enough to show you and those in askance how the kids of FH change my life. Ask those who have been there. they know.

well, because of yesterday's unfortunate event, I hope all the foster parents make light their hearts and pardon our shortcomings, especially during the delay to take the kids home to celebrate Eid. I hope they treat them all well, because there are other families DYING to spend time with these kids.

and I am grateful to the organisers who had successfully brought the kids down to experience Hari Raya in a different environment. I know it was tough to handle, esp from the Indonesian side. It wasn't easy to settle the paperwork for the kids to come here. A hassle, but you made it possible. for a common goal, a common love.

THANK YOU!

and once again, on this blessed day, I seek your forgiveness should I have interpreted your intentions wrongly or said things that I did not mean to say. Let all these mistakes serve as future lessons.

Afterall, the Tsunami has happened for a reason. An ukhuwah between two lands. let us not severe these ties because of our own ugly differences...

Meanwhile, enjoy ur second day of Raya y'all!

lebaran with a difference, yet again...

2006-10-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

the kids are here! and hence, that marks the end of Ramadhan as we open doors for Syawal.

Malam raya was these...and more.

why, hello gorgeousss!!!! tsk tsk tsk

*I swear I wasn't holding onto his hand eh!!*

Salam Lebaran, Minal Aidil Walfaizin

Maaf Zahir dan Batin

that Friday the Thirteenth...

2006-10-18T21:17:00.000+08:00

eh hell-O, it was awesome lar! Siap dengan roses n placecards segala! *Thanks AWIN!!!*

ehh Awin, R can be Ravishing ya know...

HAHA! MUAHAHAHA!

Is that Suria huh huh huh??? Suria ke tu?
HAH!!! SURIA..! SURIA! Sinaran hidup SAYA!!! teehee... my buddy since sec 1...she's the BEST! Looks like, theme song dah tukar horr Su? Now, it goes, "Hiburan sensasi, informasi terkini, SURIA! Semakin bersinaaaar!!!"

Shining as ever. But she never changed la that woman. only she wants to be policewoman, with Engineering degree. HUH??? siler tolong saya...tak tau kenaper...

the best ladies dined at Amirah's Grill. Fifteeeeen (ala-ala Heidi Klum) ~~designers~~ ladies of Crescent '99 minus some who couldn't make it due to very very good reasons 'cept FIDZ!Grr!

Missing from pic:

My two best ladies, can u beat that!!!?? Fidz (feelin shit) and Farena (at work)

Leyana (running a temp of 39 degrees)

Murshida

Humaira

Suhaila

Mazliana

Arfah

and Farizah

*did i miss anyone else??*

THERE YOU GO, Crescent Girls Malay Cohort '99

Thank you for the great evening!

For originals and ediited pics,visit

cinderaila.multiply.com

horr??

Dream a dream come true...

2006-10-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

I know I'm supposed to post the pics from that day the iftar, but i havent organised the pics la! So, since I've typed this entry some week ago, might as well, post this first horr!

In my 23 years of living, I've had too many dreams I associated my life to and many of which, I still remember to date. When I was young, I was so afraid of death that when I was struck with high fever, I would dream I was going to die. I would dream that the next day, so many ppl gathered at my house to witness my funeral. Perhaps that was just hallucinations.

Over the years, dreams start to take in forms of metaphors, of how our mothers (ok maybe just my mother) would say that dreams of shit brings money, dreams of death means the the dying person has a long life and dreams of a dead person means they have news for you. Needless to say, my dreams of shit had always been true, or so I choose to believe. and dreams of death? I dreamt a few times that my grandad passed away. Alhamdulillah, he's still alive and kicking at 78. My mom dreamt of her late father living in a huge mansion. (good news? maybe) My mom dreamt of Rasulullah too. how cool is that!?

Just last week I dreamt I pulled out my teeth one by one. with so much ease. I tot I heard somewhere, if u dream that ur teeth fall, someone's going to die. *shrugs* but San told me otherwise. "Rai, u're so stressed up u had to pull all ur teeth" haha!

Sometimes also, my dreams scare me...because oftentimes, they relate to reality. it's like a sign, an omen, that I have to be aware of. I remembered clearly that I dreamt of Singapore's twin towers collapsing before my eyes. It disturbed me so much I somehow concluded that my ambition of being an architect will crumble just like the dream. But then, two weeks later, WTC crashed.

Before I left for Aceh, I dreamt that I died of drowning twice and in both occasions, I remembered vividly that I managed to mutter the Shahadah before my life was taken away. It was such a painful dream. I could actually feel water flowing into every pore in my body. I woke up in tears but I soon forgot abt it... until... I almost drowned during beach day in Aceh, only this time, I panicked and did not remember God at all. I was swallowing so much water, I simply panicked. It was a sign wasn't it? That in a moment, Allah can slip off your mind... and everything goes haywire.

Well, my dreams can even make me feel high sometimes... a dream that you want to live in forever. and when you wake up, you just feel awful. For instance, I dreamt about my dream (literally) man! his face was shining la! It was SOO shining I couldn't even see his profile. That dream recurred three times. :)

AND WHO THE HELL IS MY DREAM MAN?

still remains a mystery.

and there. my share of dreams that have a huge influence on my life. what's yours?

treasures of the past

2006-10-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, why spring cleaning takes so long is due to these...

good memories... GrayT definitely...

so many things

2006-10-11T19:57:00.000+08:00

i had wanted to post the not-so-many pics of the previous iftar but i wanted to let the fume out of my head. and here's the avenue.

Before breakfast earlier, my mom asked me to buy some shallots and a tin of cornflour from the neighbourhood shop. So, after fetching Atin from skul and because the Chinese shop I normally patronized was closed, I went to the Indian one. I dreaded going there, given the situation of the shop that is so ramshacked and the stench that welcomed customers. eww. but mak had to cook, so I had to go.

I tell you, it was eons(!) since i visited that shop and NOTHING has changed. No wonder they opened up the new chinese shop. Anyway, after searching and holding my breath at the same time, i found the tin. so me and atin quickly made our way to the cashier.

You know, I thought, the shopowner had contracted some kind of stroke or sth cuz he seemed to be having much difficulty taking the tin. I kinda pitied him. but actually, no lehh! he was actually taking his own sweet time. wat can actually be done in a nanosecond, he took an hour. gah! he took a good look at the tin, scrutinizing the price tag. $2 i saw. every other tins was $2 also. wat made me fume was the fact that he peeled the tag off and dared say to me that the actual price was $4.20!!! halamak! tepung mana harga empat dollar siak! wah wah wah! he really made my blood rush up. but i only managed to let a deep deep sigh, took the money and walked off. Verily, I was fasting.

I remembered last time, in an act of desperation, bought an ironing starch at the cost of $5.20 when i could have gotten it at $2.50. now, I could have sworn never to step into that shop again.

on a lighter note,

me and bedah went for our XRD training with our eyelids weighing a ton. gosh that was horrible. i practically nodded my way thru the demonstration while forcing these eyes to open. ngantok ahh! ni sumer OC punye pasal!

Ms Dew asked me to interpret her dreams, which I cant. I'm not versed in interpreting dreams la walao. haha. I only know how to translate my own to my life. heh. nontheless, i will still share with u the dreams that have somewhat made me believe in them.

Friday is iftar with the Crescentians, yayyy! Zuhaila u better come! and u drag that Suria of urs. u better!

Iftar with Jan, Nori and Far was a lighthearted one. A hearty meal at Hjh Maimunah *superb!!!* and walk2 around Geylang. Some good sharing session and plan for raya!!!?? haha. smangat kebabai.

and okay here's the grandest announcement i've been wanting to post... Aceh Befrienders should have known. Time to make it public.

30 ACEH KIDS IN SINGAPORE YET AGAIN

20th OCTOBER TO 6th NOVEMBER

15 families needed for free-and-easy homestay

from 22nd Oct for one week

Interested volunteers please ping me asap

heartpain

2006-10-10T00:57:00.000+08:00

i could actually feel my heart squeeze watching that show. two shows. sakit. hati.

First it was Hikmah. As hard as I tried to avoid it, the blaring sounds from two teevees did not help at all. So I listened to the conversations. It didn't take a minute for me to get agitated and started railing at how stupid the characters can be. In the end, still, it was so heart-wrenching to see Ana cry like that. so SO heart-wrenching...

Next was of course Grey's Anatomy. I was thinking, if I were Izzie, would I have the heart to cut that life line and jeopardise my career for the one I love? Would I still cut that line should I know the other patient waiting for the heart has two children aged 4 and 5? Would I be selfish?

If I were Cristina too, I wouldn't be able to face Burke in such a situation.

I hate to love Grey's. it just gets me thinking....

On another heartpain note, less than two weeks left of the blessed month. i'm not late. it is not too late...especially not on this joyous night. there is still time! somebody tell me there is still time!!!! *oh how desperate!*

sigh.sigh.sighhhh

the first of the few

2006-10-09T02:25:00.000+08:00

a lil bit of Ari, a lil bit of laughter...
a lil bit of Mediterranean air with lagu rayer...

Too much mint tea makes you high
Peeling the chicken almost made me cry!

great outing, greater company

ended with smiles, and filled tummies!

bad, BAD attempt at rhyming at two am.

but thanks Dee for organising the meet-up

i heart u all

now...now...20th October, here we come!!!

2006-10-03T14:09:00.000+08:00

Some sharing session

Compare the size of Earth and other planets

Now, compare with Uranus and Neptune

Now, Earth against the Sun

(Earth is where the arrow is pointing at)

Think about it, where do you find yourself now?

*small* *tiny*

now, Imagine the creator of the Universe.....

Don't tell Allah how big your problems are, but tell your Problems how big Allah is!!!

My problems are nothing!

2006-09-29T21:29:00.000+08:00

AGUS SAFARI,

kapan ketemu lagi nihh...

There is one boy I truly truy miss.

Deep in the recesses of my heart he resides, every now and then his image appears in my mind. Just like a movie the motion picture rolls itself, of all the times spent together. of the times he spent sleeping on my bed. of the last few precious minutes at the airport. of his kind words and respect.

I MISS HIM A HELL LOT!

questions

2006-09-28T12:00:00.000+08:00

Questions

1. Why is everyone changing to lj? ok not everyone, but you, you and you... why ahh?

2. Where do I get non clumpy mascara? Bobby Brown? Mac? Macbrown?

3. Why is time running so fast?

4. Is it end of world soon?

5. When are we iftar-ing together?

2006-09-27T07:42:00.000+08:00

MY SB COMPANY

I've always wanted to post this. because BELO is the word.

miss you babes.

take care!

2006-09-26T12:41:00.000+08:00

You people should read this...

The stairway to Paradise

Paradise is very high, and ascending to lofty places takes a great deal of effort. To reach Paradise you have to walk through a road full of difficulties; a way that is full of things that go against human wishes and inclinations. This needs strong determination and willpower.

In a Hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:"Hell has been veiled with desires, and Paradise has been veiled with hardships."

An-Nisa'i, Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud report from Abu Hurayrah that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:"When Allah created Paradise, He told Jibril, 'Go and look at it.'

So he went and looked at it, then he came back and said: 'By Your Glory, no one will hear of it but he will enter it.' So He surrounded it with hardships and said, 'Go and look at it.'

So he went and looked at it, then came back and said: 'By Your Glory, I fear that no one will enter it.'"

An-Nawawi commented on the first Hadith: "This is an example of the beautiful, eloquent and concise speech of Prophet Mohammad (PBUH), in which he gives a beautiful analogy. It means that nothing will help you to reach Paradise except going through hardships, and nothing will lead you to Hell but whims and desires. Both are veiled as described, and whoever tears down the veil will reach what was hidden behind it. The veil of Paradise is torn down by going through hardships, and the veil of Hell is torn down by giving in to whims and desires. Hardship includes striving consistently and patiently in worship, restraining one's anger, forgiving, being patient, giving in charity, being kind to those who mistreat you, resisting physical desires etc."

Thus, Paradise is worth sacrificing wordly pleasure, so try to pull back your whims and desires, be strong, and remember the eternal pleasure you'll enjoy in Paradise. Put up with hardships for in Paradise there will be no place for grieve or sadness, it's a place for happiness and peacefulness.

THERE! I think that should answer part of my doubts, for now... and thanks dew for her input. I still have many questions in my head, so just bear with me yaa.

2006-09-25T22:25:00.000+08:00

IDOL TALK

Ok this is so funny, I was just about to type an entry when i saw Zub sign in...her nick made me laugh alone siah. Ramadhan Mubarak - Hady Mirza. haha! apa sehh!??

Since when the grand finals was between Ramadhan Mubarak and Hady Mirza??? muahahaha! but it sure was la. tough battle between performing terawih and watching Singapore Idol. tsk tsk tsk. RABAK! but hey! I missed half of the performance show cuz my whole family did our terawih first. and i was just in time for the blandness of Johan Abdullah Leong.

Mak said, "Kalau SI, smangat satu2, cuba kalau Tilawah idol, ada ke yang nak vote??"
Haha. Funny. But Mak vote 5 times ehh.

So today, Nori dengan semangatnya, reminded me to vote for Hady. i didn't. Then came Cat's msg. "Dick Lee has voted 1000 times for Jonathan .. bla bla bla... So pls vote for Hady"

I still didn't vote. Instead, I happy happy typed the same msg to all the Washingtons cum Hady fans I saw online. Guess who was paling smangat? the girl who said she wasnt really into SI... My bimborena...

"Huh? really ah? Dick can vote also?"
"How many do you want me to vote?"
"How many did you vote?"

KAU! It was hilarious tau! I can imagine her, in the midst of all her work, and then fumbling with her hp all... A while later, she went like, "DAH!"

Farena, farena... kau kelakar la!

Oh! then that's not all lehh! After Hady won, she called to say, "Ey, menang lar... berbaloi!" dengan accent minah JB dia yg terserlah. kekek!

HAHA!!!!

Anyway, Taufik handsome ehh!? and he improved so much! Apa kata, the next SI, caveman clan, we write petition for him to enter ahh!! haha! i tell you, that one, gerenti! caveman clan camping kat luar stadium! heh.

ok la Puasa la PUASA!!!!

2006-09-25T14:00:00.000+08:00

i'm on a mission

have u ever wondered, how Allah has so much mercy on his beings that he forgives even the HUGEST wrong?

so, i'm just wondering in deeper,

if one has not been doing all His sayings, and not performing all that He asks, and at the end of the day, the same particular person repents like there is no tomorrow, Allah still forgives and grants him paradise.

Now what is that compared to someone who has been consistent in his prayers, and does all good???

So, I'm on a mission to clear these doubts and will update you the soonest i can.

Marhaban Yaa Ramadhan!!!

2006-09-24T22:10:00.000+08:00

times like these

2006-09-20T20:57:00.000+08:00

three tests and one hell of a major disappointment for one of the results...

I need a break!!!

and so i did. we did. it was simple. sitting down and just let the wind blow all the worries away. Somehow i could feel the weight on my shoulders slip off slowly, the random silence was comforting. Thanks, SANta...u owe me a red nose now.

On the other side of the world, a friend is battling with her issues and i felt partly to blame. Maybe her days are just not working well for her, but she fights hard for her dreams and harder, to realise them. But when she drops a bomb about something I truly did not expect, I only managed to give her the support she wanted to hear.

Truth be told, I do not understand, my dear. I will need to fit in your shoes to feel the pressure and the space you need to breathe freedom. Should you decide what you have decided, it should have been a long time ago. You know yourself better to be who you are and you will learn from the choices you made. I will not tell you what is wrong nor what is right. You know. If you feel the need to be true to yourself, do so, my friend. Satisfy your wants and desires. Afterall, I love you for who you are...there will be girl talks, still. shopping, still! :)

I apologise that my thoughts to you have been manifested in a form of a blog entry, but I don't know how else. and to the rest of you, I am sorry it revolved around anonimity.

It is, times like these, that I feel I am ignorant...that I need so much more knowledge than what I already acquired. times like these, I, only have myself to reflect upon. My actions are great influences to those around me. and vice versa.

Right now, all i want is for you to be positive, and Ramadhan to come quick. Soul-cleansing time! BIG time!

And speak of soul-cleansing, Pseudochic, Bedah and the rest of the caveman clan.... you all are really something ah! More than a dozen comments just for that orang gua... (ok la ok la not sembarang kind of gua...NTU punye gua) At the rate WE are going, his head can be bloated more than the gua itself! Tu sebab rambut dia flat. kwangkwangkwang!!!

GIRLS! THREE more days horr! Cuci mata abes-abes ehh! Yang mana J.T, yang mana caveman, yang mana idaman hati, yang mana Johan dan cg-cg yang sewaktu dengannya.

*JANGAN MACAM-MACAM!* :)

meh bedah meh

2006-09-16T12:51:00.000+08:00

oh. this is my way of stress relieving... type away!!!! thought of going to meet hady mirza, but nay, i'd rather sit at home. i'm such a homey person now...anyways, here goes...

3 names you go by
1. Rai
2. Ray
3. Nana

3 physical things you like abt urself
1. upper body
2. lower body
3. head

i like myself okay

3 physical things you dislike abt urself
I thought i said i like myself

3 parts of my heritage
PURE boyanese

3 things u cant stand
1. long fingernails. NO!!! not even an mm
2. dirty toilet
3. cluttered space

3 things that scare you
1. sightings
2. EXAMS
3. uncertainties

3 of your favourite shows
1. Grey's anatomy
2. Project Runway
3. the OC for Seth Cohen

3 of your favourite anime
1. Inuyasha (pepandai jer)
2. Shaman King (lagi asal boleh)
3. Hasonneh Aishiteru

3 of ur current favourite songs
1. Dealova
2. Seulanga
3. Pupus

3 movies you can watch over and over again
1. Finding Nemo
2. 50 First Dates
3. Kal Ho Naa Ho

3 movies you would like to watch
1. Flight 93
2. Perfect Catch
3 Just like Heaven, was it?

3 things you are wearing right now
some pants, tshirt, and undies

3 things you want in a relationship
love, understanding, gd communication

3 physical things of the opposite gender that attract you
brown eyes, brown hair, nice smile

3 bad habits
gossiping
procrastinating
harrassing my bf, can?

3 of ur favourite hobbies
organise
decorate
sllleeeeeeppppppp

3 things you wanna do badly right now
sleep ah
study for 4501
study for 4500

which one first?

3 careers u are currently considering
engineer
teacher
homemaker

3 kids name u like
Ulfa
Aniq!
actually i dono lehh

3 places u wanna go on vacation
Pamukkale, Turkey
Schloss Neuschweinstein, Munich
ACEH!

3 things u wanna do before u die
Bring Yazid and Agus to Singapore
Perform my pilgrimage
get married

3 ways that u are stereotypically a girl
i'm a shoppaholic
i wear dress
i like cute boys

intials of 3 crushes
THIS ONE CANNOT SAY AH. Even in initials, their names are obvious leh! so, cannot.

3 ppl u wanna tag
Triple F,
Farena
Fidza
Feedzah (Pi)

Abes dah!!! YAY! can sleep liao!

Hey dee, hope my class din give u trouble. Thanks babe!

horchow.com

2006-09-15T15:00:00.000+08:00

Now now now, thanks to Diana, I got hooked onto viewing the collection horchow has to offer. If u know me well enough, u would know that i cannot resist anything to do with home decor. Designer Guys, Martha Stewart, Debbie Travis and the likes...

I can easily fall in love with the bed linen spread, because I guess, my all time favourite pastime is to sleep. heh. But then ah, how do they do it eh? So many pillows and cushions! Yes, I can magine the fluff and the instant sink-in to slumber...but nak kemas? leceh man... I guess that's why my mum kept it at four pillows on her bed ajer. haha. so enjoy this man.

these for me...i like pastel and mix-n-match...

this is for CindeRena and this one for Princess tak jadi

these for eppi and nori (she likes purple)

these my mum's cuz she loves dark colours, i think...

and this one for kak Nisa, cuz the linen is called Anissa. *kwangkwangkwang*

Banyak masa eh Rai eh..besok major major test ehh! ok ppl, have a great weekend and wish me luck!

counting down

2006-09-13T21:29:00.000+08:00

last Sunday, I had dinner with Pak Ade...just the two of us. ok not! plus Fathin ah. I had letters for the kids in Aceh, so since he's here, might as well pass him the letters.

We had quite a long conversation and one topic that stuck to my head is the fact that Pak Ade noticed something that I didn't really take note of...

It went like...

"Semangat orang2 Singapur bagus yaa? Meriah sekali sambutannya. Lihat tuh disana udah terang. Lampu-lampu semua udah dipasang..."

"Iyaa Pak Ade, kalau di Singapur memang gituu. Sebulan sebelum perayaan, lampu-lampu udah dipasang segala..."

"Tapi Rai, kenapa Selamat Hari Raya??? Kan harusnya, Ramadhan dulu...??"

!!!!

Ting tong ting tong tink tonk!

There wasn't even a hint of sarcasm in his speech. Just like there isn't a hint of Ramadhan enthusiasm anywhere.

At JP, it went like Bazaar Hari Raya. On the TV, it was jualan Hari Raya...

Come on man, let's celebrate Ramadhan!

Although, I must admit it's not gonna be easy for my friends who have lost their family members. To you, it is a test of faith, only to make you stronger. I know you will pull through.

Counting down the days to the month of purification...

not yet a teacher...

2006-09-10T11:45:00.000+08:00

You know, when teaching at Mendaki, I've never quite prepared myself for students' rash behaviour and the disciplinary action taken towards them. All I had in mind every Saturday morning is tutoring these kids and hope that these kids progress in their studies. Afterall, I am only a tutor

But yesterday, I finally knew what being a TEACHER is like.

It was after recess when this particular student, (let's call him K. ok no. umm, H la) H came back to class with his shirt pocket all torn. When I asked what happened, his fellow backrowboys, S and N, spoke up for him and said, "Gangfight ah cher, gangfight..."

S always gives plausible excuses, and loves making up stories which almost made his friends fall for them...but not me. So I just shunned their rantings and continued with the lesson. Less than a minute later the head tutor came in and asked for H.

THEN, i asked them again what truly happened.

Secondary one boy, G strangled H from the back. H retaliated. H tak puas hati. H punched him. G tergolek-golek.

*shock!!! shock!!!*

I was trying to find my bearings when I heard about it. I know, such stories maybe common to secondary school teachers, but to happen at a tuition centre? They totally caught me off guard. I tried continuing the lesson but the movie in my head was playing the consequences H had to suffer. not good.

All the secondary school students were called down soon after. and there, i saw, H standing at the podium, while the centre supervisor addressed the audience. I wasn't even listening. It felt like something struck me hard and kept whispering in my ear, "That is my student...That is MY student..."

The Head Tutor then informed me that he will be suspended, the police had been called, his mom is informed, and he may be expelled.

LIKE WHAT!?!?!?!

I tried to reason with him and told him that he has been coming to class and tries hard to do his work. he needs all the help he can get. a fellow colleague even came up and spoke up for H.

When we went back to class, H's backrowboys were not happy. One was getting emotional. I couldn't say anything much but just told him to calm down. I had the other students to think of. Coordinate Geometry was not done yet. SA2 is in 2 weeks! I barely completed coordinate geometry. because we kept talkin about H.

Who wants H to be back in this class? All raised their hands.

At the end of the lesson, I had three boys with me at the General Office with H. All wanted to speak up for H. I was touched. Then, we were all told that G, the sec one boy, is unwell. He has created alot of problems in his own sec school and has been thrown out a few times. He is unwell, hence his uncontrolled actions. and H had no idea about it.

H is suspended from Mendaki now, and I don't know if he'll ever be back. Even in his own quiet ways, I can see his interest to study. I hear him answer my questions during Math lessons. I know he feels proud of himself when I complimented of his good work.

You know, as I walked out of the school with the boys, I was proud to see the strong bonds between them and the way they stood up for each other even when they are from different schools. and when H waved goodbye with a murmur of "thank you", I was touched beyond words. I don't know why.

Is this how being a teacher feels like? a sense of satisfaction after hard days at work?

I feel for you la teachers. I do. I salute all of you. and I know it's never too late to say, HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY...

this i HAVE TO blog

2006-09-07T21:14:00.000+08:00

eh! i ask fathin to vote for Hady once over the phone, dia pergi vote 5 times la! Patut la Hady was first to be saved...happyhappy ah she vote 5 times. relek jer...

I MET PAK ADE! NO, I stumbled upon him. No, I caught him red-handed with Miss K. and when asked where they were from, she sheeeeepiiiisssshhhllllyyyyyyy pointed to Masjid Sultan. *Paham paham jer la* and OH! their wedding is gonna be held in November hello??? AWALnye! This cannot be! *ala-ala awin gitu* Nak pakei baju aper??? ok kidding.

Anyway, seeing him just made me more confused...like, not enough ke my dreams about those kids keep recurring, his presence only made me think that the kids are still here in Singapore...tapi meeting Pak Ade??? happy tetap happy...! and so our journey back to the west was more chatty, what with me reliving Aceh moments ALL OVER AGAIN...kesian Nori had to be the listening end. Eh, Nori! *yoohoooo* tak mo gerun tak mo gentar eh, kita kat Aceh tak mandi 2 hari 1 malam jer...ah, tak banyak...mmm. heh. Nori Nori, did u realise how intently Pak Ade looked at the person he's talking to? macam menusuk ke kalbu kan?? this Pak Ade, macam tau he got charmin brown eyes. *benci I*

Ok, so I bought another set of kain raya, or rather for my cousin's wedding... now in green, soft green. NICE la! lucky for me, Mom helped with the payment. *fuh* Now, gotta think of the design. SUKA HATI! and I like Nori's new pair of Pazzion shoes! so prep and pretty. so nice to spalash in the rain like that. sooo aiirrrryyy...and I like Pazzion's bling bling sandals. I also like Accessorize's clutches. This I sungguh don't like sebab I must CURB my spending!!!! I have to! sebab nak pergi Aceh lagiiiiiiii...... ;(

and so we declared, Pazzion is the new Barcode... no more Hongkie, we're going Korean! and we will buy more kain to make into kurtas. So exciting!

Hello friends, Farlala, Kak Nisa, yok ke Aceh yok!! Fidza? Farena? Ratna? no??? meh ah! JOM!??

Indo obsessed

2006-09-05T23:36:00.000+08:00

don't

know

why

maybe

because

miss

them

maybe

have

letters

that

have

yet

reach

my cousin's engagement

2006-09-03T22:14:00.000+08:00

17 trays with close to 40 people from us, the guy's side thronged into Kak Aisha's crib. A simple and light-hearted affair. i like!

well let's just view the pics la huh. cuz i'm tired. my hands are numb from carrying that heavy piece of plate consisting of just a heart-shaped jelly. so cliche like that. all heart shapes. I made round shape...so what goes around comes around. tak la, merepek la. So yes, the BIG deal about me making them cupcakes

It was a tad unprofessional but coupled with Mum's eye for fine details, we managed to finish the whole piece by this morning, with the fresh flowers all. once again, we were so excited, I dont bloody know why! but i was happy it was pretty. recipes courtesy of pseudochic and mamafami.fotopages.com. thank you. :)

lovely kak aisha, my aunt and mak

me n droopy cheeks

After the whole ceremony, it was simply picture taking...of Lulu *Tobing* and droopy-cheeks, and Lulu's little boy I love! He reminds me of land before time punye dinosaur, Little Foot, no? woah new nick names oredi, how cute. Lulu and lil foot. and droopcheeks. teehee.

heh. for more pictures, tune in to multiply.

ok dah. my hands really tired wanna putus oredi.

dah abes.

BIG beam!

2006-08-30T18:32:00.000+08:00

What happened this morning was one of many of Rai's idiosyncracies...but don't laugh at me. it's just me.

You see, every morning, just after i wake up, i'd sit by the edge of the bed and ponder on the day or just plan my day or simply, maybe thinking of the dream I just had. This morning was no exception. only that the dream, was almost beyond impossible. i was putting the pieces of puzzle together, the characters in my dream,and trying to make sense out of it.

So what happened was, we were at the airport, on Saturday, this coming Saturday. We were about to send the Aceh troop off and suddenly someone shouted, "Hey, let's just go to Aceh for one day and come back tomorrow. It'll be a weekend getaway thing." Out of the blue, I was already in the departure section along with Syaz, Dee, Aisyah and the likes. Pi also, I think, although, later she said, "Zara is open tmr leh. I hafta work. I think I go home la"

As we were about to leave, Ita came along, terpekik terlolong,

"Ita nak ikut! Ita nak ikut!!!! Ni dah bawak passport!"

"But ita, besok Abang Hend nak tunang! Nanti mak Ita marah..." I said.

And the next scene was we were already boarding the plane. with Ita in tow. hur hur. Mak Ita came and screamed, "Itaaaaaaa! Saper nak tolong mak kat rumah!!! Besok kau balik! Tak balik jaga kau eh!"

I don't know why I remembered these details so well but what I'm gonna tell you will shock the ass out of you.

As we walked towards the plane, still not believeing that we're going to Aceh for A DAY, I saw a girl (identity unknown) being dragged by someone else. and this girl was lying on the floor and she was lugged through a pool of shit! *shocked no??*

SHIT! AAARRGHH! Shit la! I dreamt of shit!

Kesian the lil girl, but I dreamt of shit la! I tell you, while recalling the dream, at this instant you could probably see my face lit up like a ghost town being coloured by christmas lap-lip lights.

Because you all know, dreams of shit means whaaaatttt????

*yes money!!!!!!!! Muhahahahaha*

ok gimme the money! gimme gimme gimme!

heh. ya that's all la.

oh btw, thanks elii for the links to blogger's other templates. i like. teehee.

before august comes to close

2006-08-28T20:27:00.000+08:00

i almost forgot to give my shoutouts to the August babies, considering that there are quite a few of them. So before it's too late, here's to a GREAT year for:

Gusnila (1008)

Hj Mutalif (1008)

My lil sister who self-proclaimed to be my best fren, Pi (1108)

Miza (1208)

My dear brother, Agus Safari (1708)

My ever-so-patient Dad (2008)

Nur Fatin Ilya (2108)

Boon Chin (2108)

A year older, a year wiser...

so, digress a bit. I wanted to blog abt that Hindi movie I watched for the first time in the cinema... Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

bleargh.

simply put. immoral.

I thought Indian culture has high regards for marriage, but never did i expect to see marriages break, not just one, but two, all in the name of love. To me, yes, love may be an important factor towards marriage. Tell me would you marry someone and after having a child, found another partner you claimed your soulmate and then decide to leave your family?

not right.

and besides, shame, SHAME on SRK! or Karan Johar or Yash Johar or whoever la the director ke producer ke. Sex scenes in Hindi movies??? aper sehh. oh, that's not all, SRK bearing the cross on his jackets...wualah...

dah lah.

Nevertheless, there were of course, tear-jerking moments. without fail. I wouldn't recommend you to watch it cuz it left me feeling sore despite being thrown into fits of laughter. So, still reigning number one in the list of Hindi movies, would be?

Kal Ho Naa Ho. yesh.

Can say Alvida to Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna.

Oh by the way, Miss Pseudochic, yea I spent the whole Sunday baking cupcakes AND fruit tarts. testing testing like that. actually I think I'm quite good la considering that I made them according to the recipes and no guidelines whatsoever. BUT hor, to be in the watchful eye of a perfectionist mother was tough sehh! All tarts must be same shape, same thickness. Fillings must be same level. Don't overbake. Must be golden brown. The cupcakes are too sweet. With frosting, lagi sweet potong kaki. The fruits on top must be standardised.

I wanted to sulk but looking at my sister's face turning as red as strawberry I laughed. HAHA!Ehh! Aper tak eh...My NCC pun kalah la! Luckily she never asked us to glaze the fruit tarts until you can see the reflection of your teeth! gah! heh...

No pics as yet, gotta wait until I get the whole thing done come Sunday for my cousin's engagement. penuh semangat, i dono why.

ok. finished complaints for the day. back to tutorials.

it's really unexpected.

2006-08-24T20:22:00.000+08:00

You know, it's so weird... I clearly remembered telling Hassan on Tues,

"Hey, I wanna wear all black on Thurs."
"Why?"
"I want to mourn..."
"Mourn? Mourn for whom?"

I was stumped.

and today I got the answer.

Dear Maz, we're sorry for your loss. Be strong my dear, we're all here for you.

~Al-fatihah~

lagenda

2006-08-23T22:32:00.000+08:00

please eh.. tolong ehh. nevermind if the next S.I. is another Melayu... sebab dia fasih dalam bahasa la. sebab dia nyanyi lagu sheila. sebab dia lagenda.....

so!

vote for ...

HADY!

did i make myself clear?

yes?

and oh! i must tell you about the hindi movie i watched for the first time in the cinema! simply, DISTURBING! bleargh!

i'm supposed to blog about sth else...

2006-08-21T21:35:00.000+08:00

but i had to post these. for those of you missing them, and for those who missed one great performance. nevermind the video quality. listen to voice quality. *takde UFO dah* moved me to tears, of course. you just had to be there.

AND THEN,

there was the imitation version... incomplete verses and act cute but really cute. *heh*

you will equally love this one,

simply cuz his voice is only more huskier, sexier, more playful and more mentel

the next time i go Aceh, PLEASE remind me to bring a camcorder. please.

the true surrealism...

2006-08-14T20:14:00.000+08:00

I wish time could freeze like these jpeg stills. but time is always envious. hence, these are what was left that keep me sane, keep me from missing the ones far from sight. my brothers and sisters of Fajar Hidayah. Enjoy, my dear viewers....

Mad preparation before departing to the airport

the anticipation

Meet the President

New friends from Ngee Ann Primary

Outdoor adventure at SparkC

Performance at Indo embassy

By the Singapore River

ermmm

Suntec Summit to see the fireworks

at the airport

There were just too many photos! So for more, please visit my multiply site

http://cinderaila.multiply.com

back to school, back to normal life...

2006-08-14T12:18:00.000+08:00

9 days whizzed by. so fast. It started with some tears, lots of fun and laughters, then it closed with tears of parting....as usual.

Sometimes, it's hard to give your love to ALL the kids, but when you have such close bonding with a few, they just tend to stick to you.

I'm such an emotional wreck. I can't believe, even while typing this, i can feel the heat surge through my cheeks and once again my vision blurred by the tears that have welled up. I had nine days to spend as much time as I can, and I tried my very best. Of course, it didn't help at all that one of the boys who stayed with me was also emotional. We only had to exchange glances the last few minutes before their departure and we cried a river.

Who wouldn't?

Thank you once again for the wonderful memories.

Agus Safari, Rizki, Muhib, Fikri, Junaidi, Auliya, Ikhsan, Julian, Gusnila, Fika, Ruqiyah and Irna Rafika

Till we meet again.

For now, for me, it's

back to school, back to normal life

listen and see

2006-08-08T09:17:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, listen to one of the Aceh kid's azan at Darussalam mosque, ey. At the same time, pay a very close attention to the screen the first 30 seconds.

I've tried to rotate the video but to no avail. Just listen and see.

tell me, if u saw what i saw, did it make your hair stand? That was captured by Pi, the ONE who sees things...now her hp records them! bah!

but honestly, there were so many speculations abt it. and while Muhib was reciting the first part of the azan, I swear the whole mosque was in UTTER silence, I was surprised, stunned, shocked and what-have-yous.

Oh well, I'm in high spirits to get back to the kids now. Detailed stories when I'm back.

hikmah

2006-08-01T21:27:00.000+08:00

Monday nights are stay-home nights. ..simply cuz of the drama duo that glued me to the tv for two straight hours. No, not hikmah! I detest the back-stabbing, maligning acts of the mother-in-law in cahoots with the sister and other realtives in tow. Not enuff that they swim in stacks of rupiahs yet cant leave other people alone. Chet! And on the other hand the meek and gullible Ana truly TRULY gets on my nerves. Two (too) extremes. After watching, you either end up more scheming... or just, plain... bodoh. Hence, after DIA mid-way, I stopped watching already. But! I must admit the two leading heroes are very charming...heee...

Anyway, I'd rather focus my attention to DH or better still, Grey's Anatomy. If you watched Monday's episode, it was a continuation of how the intern (Meredith) stuck her hand into someone else's body to stop severe blood loss, and what she was holding on was actually a bomb that did not blow. Should she let go, the whole operation room (OR) explodes. To cut to the chase, they successfully removed the bomb out of the body and handed over to the bomb squad. Just as the bomb squad left the O.R., the bomb detonated in his face.

Aargh. brutal.

How did the bomb end up in the person's body in the first place?

Oh. He was reenacting WWII with his mate while experimenting with a bazooka. They tried firing but failed so while he was checking it, the bomb landed in his body, did not detonate, cushioned by his flesh. How foolish!

What perturbed me was that at the end of it all he's alive. Obviously the main cast will stay alive...but the poor bomb squad member had to blow up to pieces. I'm really disturbed I DON'T KNOW WHY! I mean, imagine if your brother is in the bomb squad, how would you feel? Or your husband? Or your father? I cannot cogitate anymore worse situation.

I understand that being in a bomb squad, you MAY end up dying while on the job, but when it is the effect of other's stupidity, i feel it's unfair.

So what's the hikmah behind it all? you tell me.

anyway, i've been blogging non-stop, i should take a break, i think.

i cant wait for saturday!

till the next entry. ttfn.

BAG them!

2006-07-31T16:15:00.000+08:00

~~Nori's~~ Kak Rina's bag party was a blast! Something like tupperware party, only with bags... lotsa colours they make me go ke-ra-zeeee! Fidz made a good decision not to come cuz I was 40 bucks poorer... BUT! two more bags in the collection! *beams*

Honestly, I dont know when I became a shoppaholic, and started this shopping frenzy, but sometimes I do feel the pang of guilt hitting hard...It's like, once you pop, you can't stop! Pity the hubby-to-be...

Anyway...I wanted to upload a video of my irritating-cannot-sit-still-attention-seeker sister, the Fathin Ulfa but Pi beat me to it. Nontheless, for the non-visitors of Pi's blog, here's something that maybe would lighten your spirits, or at least, make you laugh. I did!

But i must warn you, viewer discretion is advised.

She must have felt sore she couldn't be part of "One minute of fame" so she tried to pull the stunt herself at home. How silly.

Tin, I guess "One minute of Lame" truly suits you.

I'm sorry I haven't gotten over Aceh...

2006-07-30T11:56:00.000+08:00

but I just can't help it when I get to talk to the one I miss most at the stroke of twelve last night. Just to hear him talk and giggle made me so elated I must thank Nisaa for waking me up from my slumber.

"Rai rai, the kids asked you to call them. NOW." Instantly, I was wide awake.

and who wouldn't be happier when he told me ZULFIKRI aka GENDUT is coming down to Singapore! I practically jumped out of bed and went berserk.

But you know, when Yazid talked, he felt so near, yet so far... I made him recite Surah As-Syams and was gladly moved to tears. Once again he brought me down to Earth. Thanks brother, you're greatly missed. *Saayang Yazid*

Earlier, I was out with Fidz and Zak...and Pi and Ita...Pi met her ex, and we felt like it was the reunion of the ex-boyfriends. hah! Luckily, we din go for bowling last nite, else it would have been fuel to my overactive imagination... because the last time I bowled with Zak was eons back in JI at JEC. Zaman kebodohan, keselengehan dan kegilaan... I just hope Zak reads this entry cuz I want him to know that he and Fidza are made for each other, really. I see the chemistry, I feel the right frequency. I feel bimbotic now but I imagined a wedding invite that goes like this...

"You're cordially invited to the wedding of fidZAki..."

HAHA! OK! FIDZA IS GONNA KILL ME FOR SURE!!!!

Hey Fidz, no offence, and chill eh babe ehh...

FARENA!!!! YOHOOOO! wat's with the maze? and congrats on your exorbitant paper chase! haha!

Oh wells...

This day one year ago, you would see my crying my heart out, alone in Europahaus, back in Germany, yearning to be home. Today, I wish I'm transported back there.

The odds of human being....

Next up, BAG PARTY at NORI's!

convo 2006

2006-07-28T16:08:00.000+08:00

dah tu jer...

three day summary

2006-07-24T20:16:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY:
first stop, IKEA

Fidz and e orange chair, $139 ajer...

pinkspired

We miss Farena...

and then a mad rush to bugis with Nori to get Miza's engagement gift, and to her place to help with the gubahan...

SATURDAY:
Morning at the Mundane Mendaki
Noon at Mukminin for a carnival

and
SUNDAY: was Miza's engagement. *happy for her* but alas! I brought my camera with the SD card in it but no battery pack... *fated* haizzzz

den off to Tanjong Pagar for LFI's health convention with Nori in baju kurung glamorous all...and no camera! Late dinner at Lau Pa Sat *my first time* and home

ok dah!

Sheer Euphoria!

2006-07-24T12:33:00.000+08:00

*Has God answered my prayer or what???*

the BEST news, with a capital F....

ACEH KIDS COMING TO SINGAPORE, BAYBEH!!!!

I LOVE I LOVE!

I am f***ing HAPPY and BLOOOOODY excited i CANNOT wait!

chant it now

*the kids are coming! the kids are coming!*

this is a game of contemplation

2006-07-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

the title bears no r'ship watsoever to what i'm gonna blog about now. it was one of the topic i had wanted to talk abt a few days back but gave it a pass. So now I completely forgot about it. yea.

It's always random thoughts when I blog unless there really is something interesting to blog abt. Beside the migraines that have become occassional now, my appetite had been colossal. i hate to see the fact that i've grown quite a bulging tummy (& i am definitely not proud of that and not embaraased either because love is blind) i've had an exercise regime in mind but had alwaays left it on the shelves ever since miss lazy dominates, tell me when she doesnt.

pretty much enjoying the last bits of holiday before gg back to skul for final year, finally. All those convo crap is makin me nauseous. i cannot wait to graduate and get out of this rut. still, i am happy for my graduating friends. really. one year will whiz by i know, what with the fyp i've been trying to start...i could forsee myself sitting in the lab waitin for things to happen for me. rite...for starters, i sat for 2 hours for that bloody diamond cutter to cut my titanium sample into 2. lucky i lugged in sheila oflanagan's paperback. i finished it already. and dreamt of the ending at night. bah! ridiculos this rai.

and yea, speaking of the author, i must thank Nori for lending the book and a few others to me. They sure will keep me occupied. Perhaps i should turn into a bookworm already..since Jonathan Leong fancies girls who read. ok tak. bedek. Fidza will slaughter me. she's THE bookworm. but i like Jonathan Leong from SI. He's...umm...manis! But Hady is also panas membara. muy muy caliente oooh lala. i wondered why caveman did not join e competition. He would draw ALL the crowd, really he would...many will agree. well it was a good thing he didnt cuz he probably wont be exclusive anymore. Everyone would know him. SIngapore will know him, oh havent they already?

I'm amazed, though, at how the people screamed and shouted at their idol hopefuls. it can be quite irritating although the support sure so overwhelming i was moved to tears *blame it on pms* but i thought again...hah! i could get that same craziness in just one person... my geek hero, who else. the emo snag, said nori... *sincere, not a gay*

Aaah the Tsunami has hit again...from the 39 casualties on the first night then suddenly, the death toll rose to 800. What's happening to this world....

i miss Aceh, I'm pining for the kids.

"Aku punya teman..."

only hope

time to migrate

Hadrah Mautttt

craving for home

of good things, and bad...

i think i stress too much

Hikmah 2

ej-jay/wordpress/el-jay/wordpress

i'm in love!

my visual DNA

harrrrr

it's written

snakes and ladder

silly

sombre

Everyone has a first love story to tell...

Kagome dikagumi...

included, excluded. I AM DELUDED!

Picnic anyone?

Dianah & Adil

amazing race all stars...

We're on fire !!!

my black Thursday

random good things

the missing of a yearning

bila rindu, kusebut namamu...

fried fish belado

being open

Aquarian babes

leap of faith

Photoshop madness

this is for ita.

oh darling darrling....

and these are MEN...i adore...

in the face of adversity...

Give thanks to Allah

ever since school starts...

mutton chop chop chop...

Album "Syiok Sendiri"

my friend, M...heh

Fajar Yang Hidayah...

My Story

Saddam Hussein

the most impactful, perhaps this one...

pre-trip

my heart

i'm obsessed with chubby tots

weekend rush...

booooohooooooooooo

yearn

exam revelation :)

about being good

Hikmah...*it's OK lahh!!*

raya yang tak basi basi...

jangan lihat saya begitu

picture perfect

the one about Hajrul and Fathin...

boring lecture?

me and aiman at 4501 CA2

watersport sometime?

Hikmah Tsunami

lebaran with a difference, yet again...

that Friday the Thirteenth...

Dream a dream come true...

treasures of the past

so many things

heartpain

the first of the few

questions

Marhaban Yaa Ramadhan!!!

times like these

meh bedah meh

horchow.com

counting down

not yet a teacher...

this i HAVE TO blog

Indo obsessed

my cousin's engagement

BIG beam!

before august comes to close

Hikmah...it's OK lahh!!